Sunday, May 9, 2004
02:07 p.m.

Cold peach yogurt on a sunny day, with my window open so I can catch snatches of the baseball game, or see glimpses of the sparkling bay. Not enough outside presence to distract me from homework, but just enough to keep me from feeling isolated or smothered by it, so I can actually enjoy my work. It is, in a (single, prosaic) word, nice. ^_^

I had a wonderful weekend, even though I don't really have a reason for it. I went to see Van Helsing on Friday, which was a fine mix of eye candy (battles, scenery, Hugh Jackman in leather) and laughable bad movie-ness. I recommend seeing it with people who enjoy caustic commentary, because it provides a surfeit of material. Yesterday I went out with sister-and-boyfriend, indulging in a dinner of teriyaki, katsu, and tempura, and a Caramel Frappucino from Starbucks. Shallow creature comforts are really the best. XD The restaurant we went to, by the way, has great food for really cheap, and I need to take my Seattleite friends there next weekend or something. Really, nothing special this weekend, but for some reason I've been in a steady good mood all day, and the small things are delighting me. Like when I was reading in the Quad and a duck just sauntered by, right next to my head. :D

And now to wrap up this little unproductive interlude. Happy Mother's Day to everyone, by the way -- go hug (or call) your mom. ^_^

Friday, May 7, 2004
09:55 a.m.

Hm. Caught a bit of the Senate Armed Services Committee hearings on abuse of Iraqi prisoners, which was interesting. I'm not entirely sure of how much I trust the process, or the people involved in it ... but anyway, there was one little gem when Donald Rumsfeld denounces the abuses as "certainly un-American." Um, no, Mr. Rumsfeld. The problem isn't a "whoopsie, we didn't treat these Middle East barbarians with the right amount of down-home American hospitality, gosh darnit" kind of problem. It's a "flagrant abuse of detainees and violation of international moral code as expressed in the Geneva Convention" kind of problem. However heartfelt his intentions may be -- and I don't necessarily doubt that they are -- labelling the mistake as inconsistent with American values is false. It is a breach of international -- dare I say universal? -- ethics, and to say otherwise is culturally arrogant.

Oh, and for kicks: The Very Secret Political Diary of Donald Rumsfeld, Part 2. Heh.

Wednesday, May 5, 2004
11:40 p.m.

So the time is approaching when I get to register for classes -- a process I've always found disorienting, as I have to plan for the next quarter in the middle of the current one. It's even weirder now, because not only do I have to think ahead to what classes I'll want to be taking next year, but I'll also be living (hopefully) in an apartment or house off-campus, with two ladies who are no longer undergraduates at the university. (Eep. ^_^;;) I have my complaints about living in a dorm setting, but I do acknowledge the benefits -- provision of utilities, proximity to friends, the ability to run to class five minutes before it starts -- and I will have to learn to be a little less lazy next year. I also wonder what it'll be like to move away from that environment. What will it be like living around people who aren't in my age group, or even people who aren't -- gasp -- students? What will happen to the insular college life I've become accustomed to? :P

But, oh! I'll be in my own place, I'll be able to buy groceries and keep real food, I won't have to share a bathroom with dozens of other girls ... Despite the worries/responsibilities/inconveniences, I'm excited. It's the same kind of feeling I can remember having when I first moved up to campus -- wondering about the possibilities of being in a new living environment, which are in their way more subtle and pervasive than those of moving to a new academic or social environment.

Of course, step one is to *find* a place to live. ^_^;; If all goes well, we'll move in after spring quarter ends and stay in Seattle through the summer. Which means I'll have to get work here to pay rent (and to have something to occupy my time while the majority of my friends are in Other Places ;_;). I'm planning to stay on with my student assistant position on campus, but obviously that's neither a full-time position nor lucrative enough to live on. :P So, that means job hunting! I'm attempting to pursue something with one of the women I work with -- her husband works at a small publishing company, and she's trying to see if they could set up some internship position for me. I don't know, actually, if the position would be paid, but regardless, it's experience in publishing work, however minor.

I also applied for an unpaid intern position at a local literary agency -- and I wonder, what if everything magically works out and I end up with all three? Earning money, working in publishing, and poking around at a literary agency ...? o_o

... or, what if, two months from now, everything is radically different from what I'm trying to predict, and I just laugh at my feeble attempts at planning? :P Aaaanyway, first thing's first -- I need to know what courses I'm registering for. Right now I'm looking at third-year Japanese, the introductory poetry writing class (my first creative writing course here -- gulp), and a philosophy course. But I'm torn -- there's Ancient Philosophy, which I do want to know about and really should take; but then there's Philosophy of Human Rights, which looks really interesting ... ah, decisions, decisions ...

Tuesday, May 4, 2004
12:09 a.m.

Though I may complain about the fact that my feminism class has me running around the city on a regular basis, I am, in the end, glad to be getting out and doing these things. Just tonight, our class went to see the play The Good Body. It's the new work by Eve Ensler, and tonight was the last performance of this sort of experimental initial run before it officially debuts in San Francisco. It's sort of along the same lines as The Vagina Monologues, only this time she has a more autobiographical focus; and instead of just being about problems women have with their vaginas it's about the problems we have with our whole bodies. XD In any case, it was really freaking great, absolutely hilarious with ruefully amusing kernels of truth (like the "bread is Satan" bit :P). And what I enjoyed about this even more than the production of the Monologues done on campus last year was that I got to see the play done by Eve herself, who is really wonderful.

Also, as I was looking through the program, I saw an advertisement for next year's season at the 5th Avenue Theatre. And, um, they're doing Miss Saigon in April. O_O I know that's a whole year away, but I don't care, I AM SO GOING.

Yay for living in Seattle, where I get access to great theater. <3

Monday, May 3, 2004
10:06 a.m.

I'm quite impressed with myself. I managed to finish my midterm paper at a perfectly decent time last night (just around midnight), and even squeezed out a halfway interesting argument from works of literature that ... well, let's say they didn't particularly engage me. :P So here I am, triumphant, printing out my paper and celebrating by blogging about it. Apparently these are the milestones in my life that I feel the need to record for posterity. XD;;

I probably shouldn't be quite so proud, though -- I *did* have all day yesterday to write, barring a couple of hours of distraction when my parents visited. It was a happy distraction, though. Yay for parental doting, which usually takes the form of food in my family. <3

I don't know if it was the ruminations on post-war British literature or what, though, but last night I was plagued with a string of semi-nightmares. The only one that really disturbed me was the first one, though it wasn't so much the content of the dream as just the terror I knew I should be feeling, based on the knowledge I had in the dream world. It involved vampire/zombie thingies (no, I couldn't tell the difference) and the threat of darkness like in the movie Darkness Falls, if anyone's seen that. (The creature can only attack you when you step into shadow, but in light you're okay.) However, instead of defeating our attackers by shining lights, their weakness was ... singing. O_o And yes, I promise this was a serious and (relatively) frightening dream, and I do remember jerking awake in bed, realizing it was just around 2:00, and knowing that I needed to go back to sleep. But not wanting to, because I was afraid of the dark. ^_^;;;

(Hm ... come to think of it, I think this might have been triggered by Saturday night, during which I went to karaoke with some friends and then later had a conversation with them which did, in fact, involve zombies. And syphilis, too, but there was thankfully none of that.)

Um. I should go to class now. :P

Thursday, April 29, 2004
03:43 p.m.

So my Philosophy of Feminism midterm today didn't go very well. And that's not just me whining. (Well, okay, I *am* whining, but what I mean is that I'm not just exaggerating. I'm whining with justification. :P) I didn't have time to complete the exam -- we had five essay questions to answer in an hour, and I ended up with my last response woefully and quite obviously unfinished. I more or less knew the answer, too; I simply didn't have the time to write it.

And yet, I find ... that I don't care too much. ^_^;; I think I've lost my "OMG MUST GET 4.0" obsession this quarter (which is ironic, considering how much I did to get one *last* quarter, but anyway) and am more or less satisfied with putting in a good effort and dedicating myself to material that really engages me. That's probably not so good for my transcript (and even less good for my parents >_>), but, well, you make your choices. *shrug* I don't feel as if I'm being less responsible or becoming a worse learner/student, it's just ... Let's just say that my personal philosophy has for a long time involved a certain skepticism, or perhaps simple lack of interest, in idealistic standards, and this is just a small and practical application of that way of thinking. I don't think "Goal: perfect GPA," but rather "Goal: learn stuff and do well."

Something like that, anyway. Who needs obsessive idealism? "How will you know the difficulties of being human if you're always flying off to blue perfection?" saith the Rumi. I rather think he's right.

Aaaand, it's almost the weekend! It's also looking pretty busy -- Friday there's a semi-formal dance on campus that I'm going to with a group of friends. I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be able to do some swing there. :D Then Saturday, neko-chan is organizing an evening at karaoke -- with the Dragon's Pen instead of the ADP. ^_^; And finally, my parents are coming up to visit on Sunday. I haven't seen them in over a month, so I'm glad. Oh, yes, and I have a midterm paper to write somewhere in there, too ...

Monday, April 26, 2004
10:09 a.m.

Our room is littered with the detritus of con. Myra's half-unpacked bags are on the floor; a sack of loot is by my bed; and I had to move a stack of doujinshi on top of my desk.

Ah, to be a geek.

Monday, April 26, 2004
12:03 a.m.

Yay weekend! Bubble tea, sushi, and MST3K. Can't think of a better way to have spent my time. :D

Of course, neechan had a pretty exciting weekend herself, getting to go to Sakura Con. I didn't have the time or money to dedicate to a convention, but I do feel a little wistful that I didn't go. I've been to the past three Sakura Cons, and always went with Myra ... Seeing pictures of their hotel room in all its glorious mess of food wrappers and loot bags made me feel awfully nostalgic. ^_^;; On the positive side, Myra brought home tons of loot. XD Kyo-neko and Yuki-nezumi plushies, and a glut of doujinshi -- Harry Potter, GetBackers, RuroKen ... She picked up Yamaguchi Graph, a collection of Yamaguchirow art that's awfully pretty, and also Violently Happy 2 ... It still impresses me that a circle that produces h3ntai can turn out such wonderfully fuzzy cuteness. Whee, I know what will be distracting me for the next few days ...

Now I must pimp a link to Marvelous Bob. It's an online serial that explores what it means to have superhuman powers when you are, at the end of the day, just a human guy. This kind of stuff is why I read comics -- and why I can't stand analyses that define comic books and the concept of the superhero as merely originating as, and being limited to, juvenile wish-fulfillment. Maybe that's what they started out as -- maybe my approach reads too much into them or gives them too much credit. (Maybe I'm just a product of my postmodern generation and can't help picking apart the very structure of the genre. :P) But anyway, read this. It's relatively short, and it's amazing.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004
10:25 p.m.

Lady Jaida has posted a rather interesting fic challenge that, in a nutshell, involves going back to your first fandom and writing a fic for it -- one that expresses the changes in ideology and perspective that you have experienced since your initial involvement with the fandom. o_o "Ooooooh," goes my brain. I'm not going to actually participate in the challenge, because I don't have the time -- and hell, it's been a really really long time since I've written a fic anyway -- but still. I can just imagine. The first fandoms in which I participated online were X-Men and Ranma 1/2 (though if we're going back to first fandom *ever* ... well, X-Men is probably the first one that counted, anyway), and that was, oh, back in 1997. I know that's not such a terribly long time ago, but bear in mind that I was just entering adolescence at the time, as well. :P Oh, the things I thought I knew back then. (The things I think I know now ... XD;;;;) Looking back and examining my beliefs and thought processes at the time, with or without fandom, is both fascinating and humbling.

Anyhoo, yes. Things in general have been going well lately. I got a raise at work. *does a little dance* Classes and such keep me at a constant buzz of activity, which I'm not really happy about, but it's not worth complaining over because I could be a heck of a lot worse off. One of the things that helps keep things in perspective is the fact that I go to a service organization once a week to do volunteer work as part of my Philosophy of Feminism class. (It's in a fancy-pants office building downtown -- you know, one of the ones with a few dozen floors and the elevators of DOOM that shoot you right up there. None of the interminably slow upward crawl that we get in the dorms. It does start off at a normal speed, kind of slow, but then it's like beep ... beep ... beep-beep-beep, and then you feel yourself gaining momentum and think, "Hm ... this is not a good thing." Luckily, the elevator noticeably slows down every five floors or so.) Trying to complain about my life while I'm in there is pretty laughable. It's like, "Oh no! I'm really busy in my classes at my ... prestigious, well-funded university ... where I also have a job ... and live in a very decent place ... and am close to many wonderful friends ... and ... um ... riiiight."

And speaking of school work ... I should really do some of that.

Sunday, April 18, 2004
02:30 p.m.

This new design was rather a long time in coming -- the last one was up for, what, two months? ^_^;; This layout is graced by the lovely and all-around kickass Liza Hawkeye from FMA. All hail her massive 0wnage.

I certainly haven't been keeping up with this page lately, because of or despite the fact that so much has been happening lately. I generally have less time to futz around online, anyway, and blogging is an easily disposable time-waster. It's too bad, though, because at least the habit of blogging allowed me to organize my thoughts and compose words free from the pressure of a class assignment. I also regret not maintaining this record of the goings-on in my life -- not that it would be of particular interest to anyone else, but at least for me, I like having this page and its archives so I can either remind myself what I was doing, or look back on what I was thinking.

So, these past few weeks have been crazy and busy, though mostly in a good way. My cursed logic class is finally through, and I did actually manage that 4.0 -- I would have gotten lower based on a technicality, but the professor is immensely cool and let it slide. This quarter I'm occupied with post-war British literature, and also my philosophy of feminism class. I should note, though, that despite the fact that the title of the course is "Philosophy of Feminism," this is not meant in the same way that it was in my "Philosophy of Religion" course. In the latter, we examined the meanings and motivations of religion -- not so much the content of specific faiths, but why people believe what they do, how they justify their belief, what they mean by religious language, etc. But in this course? There is no question about feminism. We don't wonder why people adhere to it, or what it really means, or its particular justifications. Nope, if you're in this class, the feminism is a given. We're just learning the specifics. :P It's not all that bad, though. It certainly isn't a *philosophy* course, I'd say, and I do wish I could have learned what I thought I was signing up for; but at least the subject matter is interesting in its own way, so I'm enjoying it for what it is.

Now that my second year is winding down -- how scary is that? -- I'm looking ahead to next year's living arrangements, summer employment, etc. Occasionally thoughts about post-graduation and real life sneak their way in to loom fearsomely over me, but then I just need to remind myself not to think too far into the future. Luckily, I'm having an excellent time in the now.