chicken scratch 24

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

OMG THREE MORE DAYS HERE EEEEEEEE.

Am currently uncertain as to whether I'm more excited or nervous. It's like, people I get to see -- yay! People I have to leave behind -- boo! New classes -- yay! No more sleeping in till eleven -- boo! ^_^;; But I spent the whole day packing and going through my clothes, not sure which was sadder -- being able to fit one's essential life-stuff into a car trunk, or the fact that I seem to have several dozen different shirts in varying shades of beige -- and at the moment am too tired to decide on which. So.

It probably didn't help that I finished "Sophie's World" today. Even though it was my second read-through ... it's just not a good book to be reading when the upheaval of going back to college has already caused one to be seized by an acute awareness of the transience of one's own life and circumstances, hah. (And I can't really say *why* that's so without spoiling the book, but I recommend reading it anyway. It's a good book.) So pardon me if I'm woobly the next couple of days. :P

show me the man in you :: 12:21 a.m.

Friday, September 19, 2003

So today I read an article in the paper. I can't remember the details now (hey, that was the morning and now it's night, what do you want from me? XD;;) but basically: in Reading, Pennsylvania, there was an art exhibit containing a collection of pieces by Mexican/-American artists. The theme was how the United States is viewed from the outside by Mexicans (uh-oh). One of the artists created a road sign-type piece that listed all the cities the U.S. had bombed, and their respective distances from Reading. A provocative piece, to be sure. And yet, the most prevalent criticism? It was unpatriotic.

*sigh*

So ... supporting your country is good and wise, I agree. But somehow support=unconditional approval? And *not* approving of every single action taken by a particular government, at a particular time, in a particular situation, is unpatriotic? (Well, perhaps in the sense that it's not quite compatible with simultaneous flag-waving and anthem-singing, but you sure as hell won't get me to believe that it is *disloyal* to one's country.) So what if you didn't vote for the guy? What if an action taken by the government really does go against your personal morals? (Opposed to Roe vs. Wade? But that's unpatriotic!!!11!) When *is* it okay to disagree with your country's actions?

Argh ... must resist urge to violate Godwin's Law ... Though really, shouldn't there be some sort of political equivalent, in which whoever counters an argument with "But it's UNPATRIOTIC! La la la la I can't hear you~~" automatically forfeits the argument?

*cough* Pardon me, just had to get that rant out. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

show me the man in you :: 12:34 a.m.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."

A quote I read in the paper today, from William James. Made me go 'hmm.' Because you know how in arguments/debates/flamewars you can find those people, the ones who don't so much *listen* to what the other side says, but just try to find the quickest way to contradict them? Believe me, I know what I'm talking about, because I can be one of those people. XD;; Seriously though -- there are times to defend, as when practicing debating and rhetoric. But if one professes to be an intelligent and open-minded thinker who won't sacrifice rationality for the sake of being 'right'? One shouldn't be afraid to throw out a dearly held belief when the time is right.

Pause to re-sheathe the Big Ass Sword of Pretentiousness. XD;;

And now onto more opinionated blather from me ... But first, another quote on why badfic is so offensive:

"I guess that's what offends me. There are people writing what they call fan fiction with a kind of contempt that even people who find fanfic 'pointless' can't muster. Fan fiction isn't good enough to be worth their time. We should be happy they're bothering to write at all. Anyone who says differently is jealous of their superior talents."

Good point.

As for what I mentioned last time, with the interview with teenagers about ideal spouses? I should say what I had in mind was not so much a careful analysis, or even an impassioned rant. Because, having not even *been* in a relationship, let alone a marriage, I am hardly in the position to do either. ^_^; But these answers included prime examples of some of the major points on the spectrum of marriage attitudes (one which I too have spanned, being a typical young person who *still* doesn't know what the hell to do with the prospect of linking one's life to a single person till-death-or-further), and I felt the need to examine a few.

The first: the one that demands perfection. And not just quiet, "I'll always be happy" perfection, but actual, no-holds-barred "they better have EVERYTHING I want." To the credit of the particular person whose answer I have in mind, however, there seemed to be a touch of tongue-in-cheek hyperbole in her response, as if she knew she wouldn't actually *have* all that, but wanted someone who was just as passionate and idealistic as she was. And I admit I'm personally drawn to that attitude of "let's give it a try, and see what happens." You know, like that inspirational quote about reaching-for-the-moon-but-maybe-landing-on-a-star (which sounds better than "Reach for that glowing rock and maybe if you miss you'll inexplicably shoot several light-years out into space and hit a burning ball of gas," I suppose).

Although I mean, if someone really *does* expect their mate to provide their every desire and cater to their every whim like that, yeah that would be annoying. ^_^;

The second response I wanted to mention was one of those laundry list ones. The guy mentioned not only what personality and interests his wife was to have, but also things like how often she would *drink.* O.o It's sort of like that part in the movie Practical Magic when Sandra Bullock's character (as a child) describes her true love's eye color, favorite shape, etc. Only you won't find this actually working in real life because you're not a witch, and usually, it's not that endearingly cute. :p

(I'm not so much angered by this as I think it just doesn't work. When I was little I used to think that way, but now ... I mean, you'd just miss out on so many great people because they didn't meet your criteria. And hell, "because you met my criteria" isn't the answer I'd look for to the question "Why do you love me?")

And finally, I found a frighteningly cynical 19 year-old, who said basically she wasn't even looking for love. Forget One True Love or being swept off her feet ... she wasn't even going to give plain old *love* a shot. I do believe she admitted that some attraction would be nice, but otherwise all she wanted was someone who shared her values, would treat her nice, be a good father, etc. Those who did want the love and such were just being impossibly idealistic, and passion too often leads to anger or hatred.

Which is just, um ... *sad.* I don't know what relationships she'd been through that made her feel this way, or if she just decided this on her own, but -- can you imagine? That's not being realistic, that's being scared and trying your best to keep yourself safe. Yeah, maybe you'll end up being stable and won't have emotional conflicts or painful breakups. You also wouldn't be getting a life partner; you'd be getting a clone of yourself who will fill up a certain space in your life without any risk of making you feel any emotion that's too severe. Hell, I don't even hold my *friends* to such constricting requirements, let alone a potential husband. I mean, what would you get out of a relationship like that? No hurt, maybe; but also no happiness, no excitement, no surprises, no growth, no breathless awakenings to something beyond yourself. Is that a legacy worth passing on to one's children? Is that even a life worth remembering?

(And besides, like my wise 12 year-old cousin said, being with someone who was exactly like you would just show you how annoying you are. XD;;)

Meep, this has turned out rather long. ^_^;; I'll just end it with some links:

First, a "demo" of Windows RG ... a.k.a. Windows "Really Good." XD (I would post the link to the Mac parody, but it has apparently disappeared. >_>)

And finally, OMG gay penguins!!

show me the man in you :: 09:07 p.m.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Yeesh, I've been neglecting this thing, haven't I? ^_^; Not much new to update, except that petnet is now officially gone, and of course all links should be redirected to the new URL. *points at sidebar*

I was very happy to see this article, linked off of Metablog, about how the necessity of inhibiting boundaries in romance has relegated important personal/social/ethical/etc. issues to mere plot devices as a result. Well, actually, the point of the post is, specifically, the use of rape as a device, but the discussion touches upon the obvious applications to other things. This is the reason why I feel a particular frustration when I see a fic that has a plot that can be summed up in its entirety in a single sentence. You know, the "Character A is in love with Character B, but they don't get together because _______ happens" summary, where the actual *plot* can be contained in the dependent clause of the sentence? It's not because the story isn't good enough -- hey, this is fic we're talking about, we're all still working on that -- but because you can already tell that the story will employ one of the common devices of new-love-interest-as-a-source-of-jealousy, or devious-plot-by-a-figure-from-the-past-obsessed-with-vengeance, or some such. *Just* to delay the romantic resolution for a few thousand words.

Which is not to say that having a new character come in to stir up some romantic conflict can't be done, and done well. Same goes for the Revenge Villain. But I've seen it so many times, it's a sort of knee-jerk reaction now. (Kind of like seeing an NCF and having the "Mary Sue!" alarms go off.) And the reason I dislike it so much, why I can't just ignore the shortcomings of the plot and enjoy the romance, is because often the resulting romance is a cookie-cutter "Oh, there was that conflict but now it's gone so let's get married!" ending. You can't tell how the specific events of the story affected the specific personalities/relationships of the characters. The integrity of the plot device is ignored (the third member of the love triangle inexplicably decides to back off, despite having supposedly been in love with one of the characters; or, as mentioned in the post, the trauma of the rape is magically erased by the presence of the victim's One True Wuv), which means the characters themselves probably have gotten through the story free from any pesky character development ...

Every fic will develop the character(s) at least slightly, either by the events that affect him/her or the way a particular author will illuminate the inner workings of his/her mind. It will create, as I heard it called in comic book fandom, a "fictive" (an idea I really like). But in these cookie-cutter romances (with the "insert plot device A here" recipe), nothing's changed. The conflict is treated as an external object, and is removed without affecting the actual characters of the pairing -- and you can forget about any NC characters, as they were probably plot devices themselves. Forget the fact that Character A experienced a life-changing trauma, or developed feelings for another person; or that Character A's apparent indifference to Character B's love has led B to attempt suicide (I've seen this, really). Nope, there are no significant issues to work out; they're both exactly the same as when the fic started, and now they can get on with the happy ending that would have been the same regardless of the content of the plot.

Am I getting my point across? It seems like the more I write the less I make sense. >_> Anyway, also see this discussion about the lack of fics that take place *after* the characters get together. I think the topics are related, as the fixation on "first time"/"getting together" fics is partially what leads writers to resort to the abovementioned plot devices, when ideas start to run dry. At least, I think so. My brain is sort of drained. XD;;

Remind me later to share the bit I read in the newspaper today that asked a bunch of teens "What kind of person would you like to marry?" The answers are ... interesting. ^_^;

show me the man in you :: 11:31 p.m.

Tuesday, September 9, 2003

I swear I read LJ for the articles ... But somehow the things I want to share always end up being stupid icons. XD;;

Anyway, this is best appreciated if you've seen both Smallville and the Queer Eye For The Straight Guy commercial the quote is taken from. But I've actually never seen Smallville, so it works anyway. It's great. XD

show me the man in you :: 09:29 p.m.

Tuesday, September 9, 2003

Happiness is remembering that the packs of Haichuu you left before your trip are still there -- a bit hardened by being left opened, but still good. ^_^

Belatedly -- neko-chan makes some good points about the separation of writer and work, in terms of reception of criticism. It's sad that that had to come out of such a stupid situation, and you'd think it'd be more obvious, but. *shrug* Someone criticizing your writing or your cooking skills or your fashion sense is not necessarily criticizing your personality or character or meaningfulness of one's life. (And, conversely, someone insulting your character, etc. is not necessarily criticizing your cooking skills, but somehow that seems less important. ^_^;) Interestingly, one could take the time to point out how simply because one is a popular or good writer (not always the same thing) one is not necessarily better intellectually/morally/stylishly. But that's what Fandom Wank is for. XD

show me the man in you :: 12:00 a.m.

Sunday, September 7, 2003

Like I mentioned earlier, petnet is going down later this week, so now everything has been moved over to http://students.washington.edu. Please change all links, bookmarks, yadda yadda. (And also, please tell me if any files are missing, or if any code still refers to petnet, of course. ^_^;)

And ... it's kinda sad when it takes about half an hour to move your entire site. I mean, certainly I'm glad it wasn't a very time-consuming chore, but, um ... what a testament to my level of productivity, eh? XD;; Anyway, the place deserves a redesign ... I think I can measure the age of this current layout in years. Which is really sad. ^_^; If not within the coming weeks, maybe I'll do it at school when I can use Photoshop 7 ...

(Oh, yes, and I'm at home now. Whee!)

show me the man in you :: 06:58 p.m.


::sigel phoenix:: -a.k.a. dora -eighteen year-old fangirl -english major, attending uw -campus convenience store clerk -website -tfme profile -ff.net profile -email kotori [at] u [dot] washington [dot] edu ::currently:: -working in california -reading jostein gaarder's sophie's world -writing from the ashes -watching queer eye for the straight guy -listening to sakamoto maaya's nikopachi -awaiting new sakamoto maaya album, clay aiken debut album ::layout:: -kyouyama anna from shaman king -lyrics from izumi you's dame! -image from shaman oversoul -font from jonathan paterson's font downloads -photoshop 7.0, notepad -view in 800x600 or higher, msie ::personal links:: valhalla which way is up? la chute unsealed lost thoughts angel's sworn duty penny for your thoughts if wishes were fishes ... man-blog shinjitsu no ichiban phonograph on! jentech productions annink nightmajik's livejournal across the universe maniac in denial twilight dreams tsubasa clara's livejournal sasayaku kielle's livejournal kirakira harleyquin's livejournal dance of the hours mina's livejournal cygnus' livejournal istoria's livejournal ::group links:: abortion debate anime fanfiction fandom wank mary sue report metablog slap to the head archives pitas		Tuesday, September 23, 2003 OMG THREE MORE DAYS HERE EEEEEEEE. Am currently uncertain as to whether I'm more excited or nervous. It's like, people I get to see -- yay! People I have to leave behind -- boo! New classes -- yay! No more sleeping in till eleven -- boo! ^_^;; But I spent the whole day packing and going through my clothes, not sure which was sadder -- being able to fit one's essential life-stuff into a car trunk, or the fact that I seem to have several dozen different shirts in varying shades of beige -- and at the moment am too tired to decide on which. So. It probably didn't help that I finished "Sophie's World" today. Even though it was my second read-through ... it's just not a good book to be reading when the upheaval of going back to college has already caused one to be seized by an acute awareness of the transience of one's own life and circumstances, hah. (And I can't really say why that's so without spoiling the book, but I recommend reading it anyway. It's a good book.) So pardon me if I'm woobly the next couple of days. :P show me the man in you :: 12:21 a.m. Friday, September 19, 2003 So today I read an article in the paper. I can't remember the details now (hey, that was the morning and now it's night, what do you want from me? XD;;) but basically: in Reading, Pennsylvania, there was an art exhibit containing a collection of pieces by Mexican/-American artists. The theme was how the United States is viewed from the outside by Mexicans (uh-oh). One of the artists created a road sign-type piece that listed all the cities the U.S. had bombed, and their respective distances from Reading. A provocative piece, to be sure. And yet, the most prevalent criticism? It was unpatriotic. sigh So ... supporting your country is good and wise, I agree. But somehow support=unconditional approval? And not approving of every single action taken by a particular government, at a particular time, in a particular situation, is unpatriotic? (Well, perhaps in the sense that it's not quite compatible with simultaneous flag-waving and anthem-singing, but you sure as hell won't get me to believe that it is disloyal to one's country.) So what if you didn't vote for the guy? What if an action taken by the government really does go against your personal morals? (Opposed to Roe vs. Wade? But that's unpatriotic!!!11!) When is it okay to disagree with your country's actions? Argh ... must resist urge to violate Godwin's Law ... Though really, shouldn't there be some sort of political equivalent, in which whoever counters an argument with "But it's UNPATRIOTIC! La la la la I can't hear you~~" automatically forfeits the argument? cough Pardon me, just had to get that rant out. Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging. show me the man in you :: 12:34 a.m. Tuesday, September 16, 2003 "A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices." A quote I read in the paper today, from William James. Made me go 'hmm.' Because you know how in arguments/debates/flamewars you can find those people, the ones who don't so much listen to what the other side says, but just try to find the quickest way to contradict them? Believe me, I know what I'm talking about, because I can be one of those people. XD;; Seriously though -- there are times to defend, as when practicing debating and rhetoric. But if one professes to be an intelligent and open-minded thinker who won't sacrifice rationality for the sake of being 'right'? One shouldn't be afraid to throw out a dearly held belief when the time is right. Pause to re-sheathe the Big Ass Sword of Pretentiousness. XD;; And now onto more opinionated blather from me ... But first, another quote on why badfic is so offensive: "I guess that's what offends me. There are people writing what they call fan fiction with a kind of contempt that even people who find fanfic 'pointless' can't muster. Fan fiction isn't good enough to be worth their time. We should be happy they're bothering to write at all. Anyone who says differently is jealous of their superior talents." Good point. As for what I mentioned last time, with the interview with teenagers about ideal spouses? I should say what I had in mind was not so much a careful analysis, or even an impassioned rant. Because, having not even been in a relationship, let alone a marriage, I am hardly in the position to do either. ^_^; But these answers included prime examples of some of the major points on the spectrum of marriage attitudes (one which I too have spanned, being a typical young person who still doesn't know what the hell to do with the prospect of linking one's life to a single person till-death-or-further), and I felt the need to examine a few. The first: the one that demands perfection. And not just quiet, "I'll always be happy" perfection, but actual, no-holds-barred "they better have EVERYTHING I want." To the credit of the particular person whose answer I have in mind, however, there seemed to be a touch of tongue-in-cheek hyperbole in her response, as if she knew she wouldn't actually have all that, but wanted someone who was just as passionate and idealistic as she was. And I admit I'm personally drawn to that attitude of "let's give it a try, and see what happens." You know, like that inspirational quote about reaching-for-the-moon-but-maybe-landing-on-a-star (which sounds better than "Reach for that glowing rock and maybe if you miss you'll inexplicably shoot several light-years out into space and hit a burning ball of gas," I suppose). Although I mean, if someone really does expect their mate to provide their every desire and cater to their every whim like that, yeah that would be annoying. ^_^; The second response I wanted to mention was one of those laundry list ones. The guy mentioned not only what personality and interests his wife was to have, but also things like how often she would drink. O.o It's sort of like that part in the movie Practical Magic when Sandra Bullock's character (as a child) describes her true love's eye color, favorite shape, etc. Only you won't find this actually working in real life because you're not a witch, and usually, it's not that endearingly cute. :p (I'm not so much angered by this as I think it just doesn't work. When I was little I used to think that way, but now ... I mean, you'd just miss out on so many great people because they didn't meet your criteria. And hell, "because you met my criteria" isn't the answer I'd look for to the question "Why do you love me?") And finally, I found a frighteningly cynical 19 year-old, who said basically she wasn't even looking for love. Forget One True Love or being swept off her feet ... she wasn't even going to give plain old love a shot. I do believe she admitted that some attraction would be nice, but otherwise all she wanted was someone who shared her values, would treat her nice, be a good father, etc. Those who did want the love and such were just being impossibly idealistic, and passion too often leads to anger or hatred. Which is just, um ... sad. I don't know what relationships she'd been through that made her feel this way, or if she just decided this on her own, but -- can you imagine? That's not being realistic, that's being scared and trying your best to keep yourself safe. Yeah, maybe you'll end up being stable and won't have emotional conflicts or painful breakups. You also wouldn't be getting a life partner; you'd be getting a clone of yourself who will fill up a certain space in your life without any risk of making you feel any emotion that's too severe. Hell, I don't even hold my friends to such constricting requirements, let alone a potential husband. I mean, what would you get out of a relationship like that? No hurt, maybe; but also no happiness, no excitement, no surprises, no growth, no breathless awakenings to something beyond yourself. Is that a legacy worth passing on to one's children? Is that even a life worth remembering? (And besides, like my wise 12 year-old cousin said, being with someone who was exactly like you would just show you how annoying you are. XD;;) Meep, this has turned out rather long. ^_^;; I'll just end it with some links: First, a "demo" of Windows RG ... a.k.a. Windows "Really Good." XD (I would post the link to the Mac parody, but it has apparently disappeared. >_>) And finally, OMG gay penguins!! show me the man in you :: 09:07 p.m. Sunday, September 14, 2003 Yeesh, I've been neglecting this thing, haven't I? ^_^; Not much new to update, except that petnet is now officially gone, and of course all links should be redirected to the new URL. points at sidebar I was very happy to see this article, linked off of Metablog, about how the necessity of inhibiting boundaries in romance has relegated important personal/social/ethical/etc. issues to mere plot devices as a result. Well, actually, the point of the post is, specifically, the use of rape as a device, but the discussion touches upon the obvious applications to other things. This is the reason why I feel a particular frustration when I see a fic that has a plot that can be summed up in its entirety in a single sentence. You know, the "Character A is in love with Character B, but they don't get together because _______ happens" summary, where the actual plot can be contained in the dependent clause of the sentence? It's not because the story isn't good enough -- hey, this is fic we're talking about, we're all still working on that -- but because you can already tell that the story will employ one of the common devices of new-love-interest-as-a-source-of-jealousy, or devious-plot-by-a-figure-from-the-past-obsessed-with-vengeance, or some such. Just to delay the romantic resolution for a few thousand words. Which is not to say that having a new character come in to stir up some romantic conflict can't be done, and done well. Same goes for the Revenge Villain. But I've seen it so many times, it's a sort of knee-jerk reaction now. (Kind of like seeing an NCF and having the "Mary Sue!" alarms go off.) And the reason I dislike it so much, why I can't just ignore the shortcomings of the plot and enjoy the romance, is because often the resulting romance is a cookie-cutter "Oh, there was that conflict but now it's gone so let's get married!" ending. You can't tell how the specific events of the story affected the specific personalities/relationships of the characters. The integrity of the plot device is ignored (the third member of the love triangle inexplicably decides to back off, despite having supposedly been in love with one of the characters; or, as mentioned in the post, the trauma of the rape is magically erased by the presence of the victim's One True Wuv), which means the characters themselves probably have gotten through the story free from any pesky character development ... Every fic will develop the character(s) at least slightly, either by the events that affect him/her or the way a particular author will illuminate the inner workings of his/her mind. It will create, as I heard it called in comic book fandom, a "fictive" (an idea I really like). But in these cookie-cutter romances (with the "insert plot device A here" recipe), nothing's changed. The conflict is treated as an external object, and is removed without affecting the actual characters of the pairing -- and you can forget about any NC characters, as they were probably plot devices themselves. Forget the fact that Character A experienced a life-changing trauma, or developed feelings for another person; or that Character A's apparent indifference to Character B's love has led B to attempt suicide (I've seen this, really). Nope, there are no significant issues to work out; they're both exactly the same as when the fic started, and now they can get on with the happy ending that would have been the same regardless of the content of the plot. Am I getting my point across? It seems like the more I write the less I make sense. >_> Anyway, also see this discussion about the lack of fics that take place after the characters get together. I think the topics are related, as the fixation on "first time"/"getting together" fics is partially what leads writers to resort to the abovementioned plot devices, when ideas start to run dry. At least, I think so. My brain is sort of drained. XD;; Remind me later to share the bit I read in the newspaper today that asked a bunch of teens "What kind of person would you like to marry?" The answers are ... interesting. ^_^; show me the man in you :: 11:31 p.m. Tuesday, September 9, 2003 I swear I read LJ for the articles ... But somehow the things I want to share always end up being stupid icons. XD;; Anyway, this is best appreciated if you've seen both Smallville and the Queer Eye For The Straight Guy commercial the quote is taken from. But I've actually never seen Smallville, so it works anyway. It's great. XD show me the man in you :: 09:29 p.m. Tuesday, September 9, 2003 Happiness is remembering that the packs of Haichuu you left before your trip are still there -- a bit hardened by being left opened, but still good. ^_^ Belatedly -- neko-chan makes some good points about the separation of writer and work, in terms of reception of criticism. It's sad that that had to come out of such a stupid situation, and you'd think it'd be more obvious, but. shrug Someone criticizing your writing or your cooking skills or your fashion sense is not necessarily criticizing your personality or character or meaningfulness of one's life. (And, conversely, someone insulting your character, etc. is not necessarily criticizing your cooking skills, but somehow that seems less important. ^_^;) Interestingly, one could take the time to point out how simply because one is a popular or good writer (not always the same thing) one is not necessarily better intellectually/morally/stylishly. But that's what Fandom Wank is for. XD show me the man in you :: 12:00 a.m. Sunday, September 7, 2003 Like I mentioned earlier, petnet is going down later this week, so now everything has been moved over to http://students.washington.edu. Please change all links, bookmarks, yadda yadda. (And also, please tell me if any files are missing, or if any code still refers to petnet, of course. ^_^;) And ... it's kinda sad when it takes about half an hour to move your entire site. I mean, certainly I'm glad it wasn't a very time-consuming chore, but, um ... what a testament to my level of productivity, eh? XD;; Anyway, the place deserves a redesign ... I think I can measure the age of this current layout in years. Which is really sad. ^_^; If not within the coming weeks, maybe I'll do it at school when I can use Photoshop 7 ... (Oh, yes, and I'm at home now. Whee!) show me the man in you :: 06:58 p.m.