Hubb. He's a good honest guy, loyal, reliable and
caring, a bit smothering at times, but he will
stick with you through thick and thin, for you
are not only his girl, but his best friend too.

Your Eternal Wolf's Rain Mate Is...(only ladies need apply)
brought to you by Quizilla

Last one for a long time, I promise. Just had to do this one because it's *Hubb*, and Hubb's cool. :D

Interview with the cast of X2. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen are great (though Ian is a bit harsh toward Spider-Man, methinks). And Hugh Jackman says "I have breasts." XD;;

I'm about a third of the way into our next novel in English, and ... I don't know. I like it, but I don't like it *as a postmodern work.* I enjoy the writing, the story, but not the (supposedly) intended expression of postmodernism. I think the primary problem that prevents me from really liking postmodern literature on the whole is that it, moreso than other literary movements, is truly a philosophy. Most of the movements I've encountered are only partial philosophies; sure, they tell you what's good or right or whatever, but only in terms of what you write/create -- this is beautiful, that is good writing, this is how to write a 'good' poem. Postmodernism, on the other hand, is an actual philosophy for the world, life, etc. -- if you want to read and accept postmodernist works, you have to embrace that entire perspective. It does outline what good or acceptable writing is, but that judgment is firmly rooted in a certain view of the state of the world, the nature of reality, the way life should be lived.

Which is all well and good, if you agree with it. But I've already made clear that I don't. ^_^;; Unlike other literary movements, where you can express like or dislike, even pick and choose what elements agree with you -- with postmodernism, it's all or nothing. It's not like Romanticism, where you could say "Sure, the emphasis on emotion is good, but all this nature stuff ..." If you, say, concede that postmodernists are correct in how the current capitalist, hotchpotch global culture has reduced the worth of everything to its monetary value, and abandoned substance for the sake of illusory gratification ... then you have to agree with the rest of it, that *nothing* is real, nor can it be judged as real in relation to the rest of the world, and you should indulge in this freedom and care about nothing, etc. etc. (I'm paraphrasing. And probably getting a lot of it wrong, but.) The point is, if you engage the philosophy at all by acknowledging its premises, you get sucked in completely. You have to accept the results, or you're "wrong." And what if you don't accept the premises? Well, then you're still wrong, at least within the realm of postmodernism.

I know, this applies to all philosophies. I mean, at its heart I guess philosophy is just about making stuff up, making your own rules to build your system on. Take knowledge, for example -- from the bits I've heard in the classes I've taken, all the various theories on the nature of knowledge are just guesses. Because how can you think about how you know things, except by using what you already know? "I know this to be true, because it's based on what I know." So when you look at it that way, none of philosophy is based on anything concrete or provable, and can be dismissed ... but the moment you start into it, the moment you accept its validity, you've then chosen to play by its rules, be judged by its standards. Like, when I was reading a piece by Kant for my philosophy essay (my sex paper XD;;), I didn't agree with his whole "extramarital/non-reproductive sex is objectification of the body and wrong, wrong wrong." That has no bearing on my morality, and there's no reason I should follow it. But if I accepted the moral standards of his philosophy, suddenly my way of thinking could become "immoral." But if I *didn't* accept those moral standards, then a follower of Kant would say I was being immoral for *that*. All the while, someone who wasn't a follower of Kant could say that no, I wasn't being immoral at all. Nothing would have changed -- Truth would not have altered, but because of who I chose to follow, whether I'm moral or not would change.

Ugh. Does that make sense? I was just thinking about it because this one guy in my class was saying how frustrated the reading made him, because he felt trapped. If you read it, you must agree -- and of course the writers believe they've got it all figured out, so if you disagree *you* must be the unenlightened one. In a way, it's like being stuck in a room with a rabid religious adherent. "You're wrong, because (insert name of god here) says so!" "But I don't believe in _____." "Then you're wrong!" "Why?" "Because (insert name of god here) says so!" And there's really no way out, because at the very bottom of the argument is an idea you either have to accept without question, or be "wrong."

The only real solution is to remove yourself from the situation -- i.e., don't do the reading. But unfortunately, I have to do this to get my degree. XD;; Will shut up now.

singing solace to the silent moon//10:47 p.m.

Tuesday, May 6, 2003

Should actually be finishing off the English reading I have managed to put off since Friday afternoon. But, even though I may understand it or analyze it or even see the good in it, I find myself really put off by the stuff we're reading. It's like, the modernist stuff is good for its emotion, but becomes melodramatic and lachrymose -- because oh woe is me, the world isn't what I thought it was and nothing is going right. And the postmodernist stuff is good for its energy, but comes off as pretentious and, in its own way, dogmatic -- because you have to be joyfully irreverent, because we're all free and careless dammit. Okay, I know I'm being dense, and there's more behind it than that, but ... And anyway, I shouldn't be so bitter, because I actually did well on my midterm (shiawase no odori~~), but maybe I'm just trying to find some pseudo-intellectual justification for me being lazy. XD;;

In the meantime, more quizzes! (I'll stop soon, sorry. ^_^;)

	Tenderheart Bear You are thinker, organizer, peacekeeper, and leader all in one. You have a power to command attention and people listen to you. However, you are often so concerned about not hurting others' feelings that you don't tell them what they need to hear and this gets you both into trouble. But you always have loyal friends to help you out.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

You are Professor X! You are a very effective teacher, and you are very
committed to those who learn from you. You put
your all into everything you do, to some extent
because you fear failure more than anything
else. You are always seeking self-improvement,
even in areas where there is nothing you can do
to improve.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

(Like neechan says, it looks like he has a freaking jellyfish on his head. XD)

Yale You're second best, and you know it. Still, those
riding the crimson wave may be slightly
smarter, slightly more prestigious, but you
know you're hipper. I mean, you're not hip --
your a nerd, for fuck's sake -- but you're
hipper.

Which Ivy League University is right for YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

That's what I got with my "real" answers (well, it's hard to have real answers for that quiz ^_^;), but I just had to get this result for a certain someone out there ... To get this one, you just have to choose all the answers that involve smoking weed. XD;;

Brown Don't worry. The real world is not for everyone,
and since you can afford to avoid it, why don't
you? Smoke a little, draw a little, make a
little love, sing a little song... You'll join
a fine tradition of Brown graduates who end up
finding themselves... forever.

Which Ivy League University is right for YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

singing solace to the silent moon//12:19 a.m.

Sunday, May 4, 2003

Why do I get so tired at work nowadays? Before, I could be running around and hauling boxes like a mad stocking machine until closing, but now ... I'm like a cranky baby who's been on her feet for too long. =_= And yes, I realize if I'm tired I shouldn't be up on the computer right now ... but of course I'm not tired when I get *back*. ^_^;

Want to see X2 like mad now. Have also spoiled myself silly, but it's not like anything would be really surprising. Just want to see the cameos and get in touch with my inner Comic Book Geek, mou. (And Hugh Jackman, nya~~) Hearing about all the subtle references and hints they dropped in the movie is making me feel all nostalgic, though -- sadly, I've forgotten about half of the stuff that's alluded to, and I'm tempted to dig through my comics again once summer break hits and re-immerse myself. :D

I was a bit miffed to see the entry on Jean Grey at the Mary Sue Report, though. I mean, I suppose on the surface she seems a likely candidate: beautiful doctor, powerful telekinetic (her telepathy was toned down in the movie, I think?), two men in love with her. Played by Famke Janssen. :P And then the rather oblique introduction to the Phoenix storyline. Probably a lot of people who have only seen the movies are bothered by her. But, you know, I'd like to point out a lot of comic fans cringe at the amount of love-love Logan/'Marie' fics out there. XD;; But really, though; when looking at surface qualities, movie-Rogue becomes just as suspect as movie-Jean -- especially since the former is in the role of young newcomer who's taken into the X-Men fold. But calling either of these characters Mary Sues because she has *some* of the requirements is just as silly as *denying* a character is a Mary Sue because she has some token flaws.

Bah, I'm tired and can't really come up with anything more coherent than "Grr. Argh" as an argument. :P She's not that bad, though~~ Even in the comics, yeah, she's beautiful and powerful and well-liked, but, you know, characters can have some good qualities -- even, gasp! *lots* of good qualities -- without being Mary Sues. She gets her share of Dramatic Angst, too, but considering the vaguely soap opera quality of the X-titles (do I even need to say "vaguely"?), it's not surprising. And anyway, she's my favorite character so there! XD;;

Some quiz results, and then I'll shut up and go to sleep:

12 inches, yew and stardust. Flexible, unique,
mysterious. A Gregorovitch wand no doubt, with
remarkable workmanship and beautiful... even if
it does have a tendency to get as lost in
dreams as its owner.

Which wand will yours be?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Mihama Chiyo!

Which Azumanga Daioh Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

singing solace to the silent moon//01:28 a.m.

Friday, May 2, 2003

Midterms ... went. I don't want to say whether they went *well* or not -- at least, not until I get my grade. XD;; Actually, the psych test was fine, since I knew what to expect. Got to check my answers online, too, and I only missed one question -- and I remember, erm, zoning when the professor went over it in lecture, so that's only fair. XD And since I had the English test looming in the background, psych seemed especially easy. ^_^; The English test itself wasn't as bad as it could've been -- though the conclusion for my essay was, as always, slapped together during the last two minutes of class -- and I know that I understand at least a little of what we're doing. The only problem is, I know I *don't* understand a lot. But, you know, since the sixth or seventh time I read over the material, it's started becoming a lot more coherent in my head. ^_^;

And now -- the weekend! ^o^ I have work both tomorrow and Sunday, but during the rest of the time I look forward to relaxing. (Even though I have a chapter to read for psych, and a story to edit for Tuesday's meeting. Mou~~) Will resolutely ignore the battery of exams and orals I have waiting for me in Japanese next week. XP For the time being, I'll focus my energies on drumming up ideas for what to do tomorrow, since I'm supposed to keep her far, far away from Kino's. XD Maybe X2? Someone's gotta want to see it with me~

singing solace to the silent moon//03:58 p.m.

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

The new RKRC Awards page is up. And, curse it all, I can't remember what I nominated the first time. O.o

singing solace to the silent moon//05:09 p.m.

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

I know I said I had to dedicate myself to studying this week, and I *will* ... but first, a bit of pointless quiz posting. XD (Oh, and I probably won't have to work tonight, after all -- or, rather, it's not that I won't *have* to, but I won't be *able* to, by default, because I have yet to be told where to go, and when. XD;;)

Nobody will find a single mistake in your fics--not
a spelling error, not a grammar error, and
especially not a canonical mistake! You'd
probably be mortified at so much as even a
comma out of place. You work hard on your fics,
and does it ever show! Your plots are complex
and intelligent, and your characters are almost
perfect replicas of their canon counterparts.
Yours are the kind of fanfics people can get
lost in, and even forget they're not reading
the real thing! Thanks for writing such great
stuff. Just remember it's okay to losen up a
little.

What Kind of Fanfiction Writer Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Heart is Red

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

Right. and now, back to work. Or rather, a bit of fic-reading, and then back to work. Just a tiny bit. XD

singing solace to the silent moon//04:24 p.m.

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

Pause for a bit of American Idol fangirling:

EEEEEEEEEEEE~~~~!!!! XD XD XD Tonight was *great*, one of the best shows in several weeks. I was impressed several times over, and ha! I've got the show taped, since we were out until about 9:00 (getting free ice cream from Ben & Jerry's XD;;). Clay makes me *happy*. He certainly hasn't been bad or boring for the past couple of weeks; but I did notice that his performances, though good, professional, memorable, etc... well ... I guess since I already expected that from him, I wasn't *unusually* thrilled. But tonight -- oh, tonight! XD I got the warm fuzzies again. Man, it was fun ... The others were great, too -- Trenyce's second performance was the first one of hers that has blown me away since the second week (movie songs).

Aaa~~ Mou, I should get back to studying. Two midterms in a row on Friday, and I've got work both tomorrow and Thursday. @_@ I should probably retreat into hermit-mode until the end of the week ...

singing solace to the silent moon//10:54 p.m.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

A few thoughts on feedback, sparked by this LJ entry found through Metablog, in which the writer posits that the gradual decline in online feedback can be partially attributed to the growth of LiveJournal (and blogs in general). That is, with online journals -- and especially LJ, whose Friends function increases the chances of stumbling upon people you "know" online -- it's more likely you'll find the blogs of fanfic authors you know. It's also more likely you'll find the feedback-rants about what they do and do not like in feedback, and it can make some people feel pressured that their feedback isn't "good enough" and prevent them from writing to authors in the first place.

What I find kind of interesting is that, not so long ago, it was rare to hear people talking about what kind of feedback they preferred, or wishing for more constructive criticism. I mean, I'm sure people felt that way -- I did, and so did a lot of writers I knew -- but people actively calling for it and commiserating with others on the lack of it wasn't common. Now -- probably with the advent of FF.Net -- it's pretty standard to see things like "I'd take one well-written LOC to twenty one-line reviews" or "I want to hear more about what I did wrong." What's unusual *now* is to see ficcers like the writer of the abovementioned entry, who will open their arms to all feedback -- good, bad, incoherent with netspeak -- all of it.

I fall into the latter camp, I think. Telling readers what to say in feedback -- or, relatedly, devaluing feedback that *isn't* what you want -- strikes me as silly. It is, in a way, like having a reader tell a fic writer what she should write. Fanfic is not an obligation, and writers are free to write whatever they want. Likewise, feedback is not an obligation (a courtesy, but that's different), and readers are free to write it whenever and however *they* want. Everyone will find what they like best, based on who does their bit better or more to their preferences; hopefully, these people will be encouraged, and therefore do more. And it should, generally, balance out. (And I realize saying this is kind of like saying "Capitalism works! <3<3<3" but I'm being optimistic. And speaking in very broad terms.)

I'm not saying people shouldn't talk about what they want in feedback, or even that they shouldn't express dislike for certain kinds. (Demanding a certain "form" of feedback, however, or demanding feedback in general ... iz stoopid.) I admit that it strikes me as a bit elitist to think that one-liners/typos/netspeak in feedback are an indication of a) an unintelligent reviewer or b) some terrible lack of validation on the part of your story. At the same time, the typical FF.Net review ("OMG I luv ur story itz so kewl! write more plz!!!1111!") strikes me as ... I don't know, icky. XD;; I don't believe that they should be discouraged, but I can understand that receiving nothing but can be disheartening.

Watch me as I uselessly straddle the fence, here ... XP Okay, let me try to get this all out: I do, like many authors, wish every feedback I received would be a thorough, well-thought out, well-written analysis of my work. But, let's face it. Some people are not *good* at dissecting writing -- or maybe they just can't pin down what it is about your story in particular that makes it so good. Some people aren't as skilled in expressing themselves in a written forum, and therefore can't give you that 5-page review -- which seems pretty obvious, but. Sometimes readers are short on time, and have enough thought to drop you a heartfelt, but un-spellchecked, email before rushing off to work; or sometimes they've been kept up late by reading your insanely long opus and only have the coherence to bang out a line or two before they drop off to bed. And sometimes, a "Squee!" is all you can, and really need to, say for a fic.

However short or long, a simple "I liked it!" can really make a writer's day. (At least, it does mine!) Wishing there was a little bit more in a piece of feedback is always better than being met by a yawning vacuum. The only thing I would really put forth as a suggestion, an entreaty let's say, is that people put as much thought and effort as they can into a review, based on time constraints, structure of the forum, and personal ability. No more, no less. There's so much thoughtlessly written stuff out there, fanfic and feedback both, and a little effort can create vast improvements.

Though I admit I don't really know what to say about netspeak. I know it's not a reliable indicator of intelligence, but ... I like to spell out words. Netspeak makes "u" a noun. And never the twain shall meet. XD

Geez, I rambled. I have nothing much to report on my life, though, even if I haven't blogged in a few days. Saw Rozencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead with neko-chan tonight (she also pimped Get Backers and SukiSho on me, nyaa). Got paid, and did the Yukari Payday Dance (though in my own room, so as not to make bosses think am crazy). Otherwise, all was quiet. Might report on laundry adventure at work on Saturday, or thoughts on AzuDai 25 and 26 ... perhaps tomorrow.

singing solace to the silent moon//11:16 p.m.