~not your angel~ sigel phoenix. eighteen year-old fangirl. residing in washington state and attending
uw. accessible at moenokori, or through email.
~currently~ in her second quarter of college. attempting to maintain new year's resolutions. job-hunting. watching
azumanga daioh, shaman king, and jungle wa itsumo hale nochi guu. reading alice 19th and azumanga daioh.
current book is sheri s. tepper's sideshow. listening to onitsuka chihiro, sakamoto maaya, utada hikaru, and
hamasaki ayumi, among others.
~layout~ lyrics come from "not your god," off of onitsuka chihiro's new album, sugar high. pictures come from freefoto.com. made using photoshop 7.0 and notepad, best viewed in at least
800x600 res, using a fairly recent version of msie.
*eyebrow twitch* I suggest you re-read that sentence you wrote about Duero and Parfet and fix that little Freudian slip. Because I nearly spat Fuji apple bits all over the computer screen, and I'd rather save others from the same fate. XD;;
(Ooh, Six Pence None the Richer's remake of "Don't Dream It's Over" just came on the radio ... *_*)
Anyhoo, what you were saying about FF.Net. I mean, I do very much understand why you feel like that, when every so often by unlucky chance you get your attention drawn to people like ... well, *that*. >_< (Fortunately, FF.Net seems to be down for the moment -- looks like someone up there likes me, and *doesn't* want me clawing my own eyes out ...) Posting in places like the LoTR and Saiyuuki sections can feel like so much pounding of your head against a brick wall. Broken skulls being painful and all that.
(And oh, it just came back up. My god ... the laughter comes from pain ...)
But, well, she actually seems like an extreme example. From what I can tell, most of what you see on FF.Net is harmless stupidity (or not so harmless -- a high enough dosage will get to you, admittedly) rather than that kind of -- vitriol? willful ignorance? mind-bending egotism? general assholery? She just seems like -- well, a mean and stupid person in general.
I mentioned the idea of getting an account today because I'm actually toying with the possibility myself. Yeah, I know. ^_^; But what can definitely said in FF.Net's favor is that it does bring you a wider audience (if, like me, you have only a low-traffic website and membership on a single mailing list XD;;). And I like the review system, and how it brings a more immediate reaction than simply posting on my own site -- especially for multi-part fics. The setup is all there for a really good resource, and obviously that isn't how it's being *used* for the most part -- but sometimes, it is. Certainly, it's what you make of it -- mediocre teenybopper writing will get you mediocre teenybopper reviews (and the substitution of single letters for entire words, of course!). But if it's good, it's good. Being nestled between Mary Sue #4276 and Mary Sue #197.1.2 won't have any negative effect on you (unless a poor beleaguered reader misses your fic after her eyes glaze over from the pain). And desperate readers like me will consider you a welcome oasis. Yeah, I'm terribly idealistic about all this, but -- I figure why not, I can give it a shot and try to make FF.Net a little bit better. Or at least grammatician-friendly.
(Of course this could be all based on my experience. The RuroKen page is remarkably free of Mary Sues, and I'd say at least half of the fics on there are written with earnest effort and adequate spelling. And real gems aren't hard to find, in both fics and reviews. But that's the only one I frequent -- if I subjected myself regularly to the LoTR, Harry Potter, or Saiyuuki pages, I could very well think differently. XD;;)
In any case, I'm not sure I'll even get an account. I'm stupendously lazy, after all. And I don't write nearly enough right now to get any really good use out of the review system. But I *am* tired of how I do that, and I've been reading some good, inspiring stuff lately, and I want to overcome my fecking fear of extended pieces, so ... I've got ideas floating in my head, and I'm pretty excited; we'll just have to see if this actually pans out. ^_^;
Also, (this entire entry has been dedicated to you, neko-chan! Don't you feel wubbed? XD) everything you've been saying about Vienna Teng has gotten me really interested. (Especially since you went and invoked Maaya, mou!) I really liked the songs you played for me, so ... maybe the next time I come over you can play the CD for me, and I'll see if I get hooked.
And one plug before I go: nominations are open for the RKRC. I have to decide who I'm going to nominate ...
Wednesday, February 5, 2003 11:13 p.m.
Of course, you know I ph33r the day you snap and come after us all with your ninja hamster. XD;;
*scratches behind your ears* Good girl. ^_^ (How about I just meet you downstairs tomorrow at 12:30, instead of you having to call me?)
Wednesday, February 5, 2003 05:10 p.m.
Bit of a melting pot today -- I was going to make a more concentrated entry about morality as it is ideally conceived, and as it is practically conceived, based on today's Philosophy lecture ... but then decided I'd done enough stuff about morality lately. Though I will say that I find it preferable to *operate* on "practical morality" while being aware that there *is* a higher, ultimate/ideal morality, than to believe you can not only discover but effect the latter, and damned be anyone who gets in your way. >_>
But. First off, some comments about a couple of articles in today's edition of the campus paper. Which will be political -- but not exactly moralizing, really. (I got off my pulpit, give me my soapbox at least. :P) One is about an editorial about age restrictions on music and video games, and how the practice both underestimates the comprehension of children and mistakes the cause of violent behavior in young people. I agree with the concept -- but then the writer, who had used his experience in buying video games as an example, said, "Grand Theft Auto seems to me to show the futility of violence as a never-ending, nihilistic cycle, not glorious or rewarding." Well ... yeah. I don't think anyone questions that. But the problem is -- *why* is that supposed to be an answer to critics? All it means is that the people who do play the game must get some sort of *enjoyment* out of indulging in meaningless violence, and that could, in fact, be something to be concerned about.
Not saying that video games = violent behavior. Ugh, not in the least. To use expressions I hear a lot in debate, I think the connection between the two is correlational, but not necessarily causal. "Coincidental" may be too strong a word, but I hardly think you can say that games *cause* a behavior. Certainly some violent people play a lot of violent games, but I would say the violent nature propagates the hobbies, and not that the individual action is indicative of the nature of the person ... because to say there's *one* cause for people to play a certain game is pretty stupid. Besides, I don't worry about the psychological states of my friends who play violent games (though I don't really know people who play GTA ... I think). I don't worry about my own interest in watching (not playing -_-) fighting games, or shounen anime. Nope.
Anyway, next article. Pretty much all you need to know is: "In a press release, RIAA President Cary Graham cited that piracy of copyrighted material is increasing, and listed 'p2p sharing' as the reason for the huge drop in record sales." I hear this a lot, and I've also heard a lot of counter-arguments, my personal favorite being: perhaps record sales have gone down because the *music* is bad. XP Maybe people are turning to file-sharing as a way to get access to lesser-known artists, and find something that actually interests them. (Hm ... again with the correlational/causal thing.) I myself haven't been motivated to buy more than a couple of English-language CDs in the past couple of years, and have downloaded next to nothing; but I have been both downloading and buying Japanese stuff ... I think I may have bought more Japanese ones, actually -- and those are $35 a pop. >_< Personally, I wonder why this article was printed at all -- it's nothing new, in terms of the file-sharing/record sales connection, or any prospective actions from the RIAA. *shrug*
... For the past half hour, I've been searching for Vandread fics at the pit of voles. ^_^;; And no, that's probably not a good decision -- a hundred fics there, and most of them can't be bothered to punctuate their summaries, or take place during or after Second Stage (like a Bart one-shot that I'm guessing is about the little girl he meets T_T), or are Dita/Hibiki fics (which I agree with, but am not particularly interested in). I have found a couple of nice ones, though:
This one is a Jura/Barnette fic. A little sad, a little sweet. Though, I never noticed that Jura referred to herself in the third person so much. ^_^;
This is sheer Duero/Parfet fluff, but cute. "I propose an experiment to be done
PURELY IN THE INTEREST OF SCIENCE and the FURTHERANCE OF KNOWLEDGE." Suuuure. XD
And finally, this is an excellent story, taking place after episode 8 with Rabat (who *is* voiced by the same guy as Bunta from Initial D, like I thought O.o). Meia and Hibiki, though not romantic. *Really* nice portrayal of Meia in particular.
Dekimashita. ^_^; *wanders off*
Tuesday, February 4, 2003 03:17 p.m.
Philosophy quiz section discussions have been quite thought-provoking lately, so I thought I'd share some. The current topic is abortion. But don't worry, I'm not going to slap down all my views on the subject here -- I just have two issues which were raised in discussion and that have somewhat widespread implications.
The first is responsibility. Generally, one of the justifications for abortion in the case of rape, even for pro-life advocates (though there's often no real *argument* for it, at least as I've heard) is the weight of responsibility. Meaning, the choice to engage in X with the (possible) result of Y confers responsibility for Y, while in cases where no choice was involved (or given the chance to be made), there can be no enforced responsibility for Y. This premise makes sense, especially for those who take a very strict view of responsibility -- such as, for example, believing that they have no obligation to donate to charities that help starving people whose conditions they say they had no hand in bringing about. (How much this actually is or isn't true can be ignored for the moment.)
Let's generalize for a bit here. Liberals are often knocked for not taking responsibility. Abortion, after all, is often called an easy way out. But ... let's look at it this way. A man is stabbed after getting into a fight -- one he is "responsible" for because, let's say, he walked through a street which he knew was notorious for violence. He falls down next to you. You, being a doctor, know how to save him. But you have no idea if he can pay you, if he can legitimately request your services in a fair exchange. Can we say, then, that you, having had no part in this man's stabbing, have absolutely no moral requirement to save his life? Of course you would be seen as indecent if you didn't; but there would be no reason to call your actions, or lack thereof, immoral.
Conversely, since this man "chose" to engage in an action which was very likely to produce just this result, should he "accept the consequences" and bleed to death? Or, to draw this a bit closer to the abortion argument, should he be forced to endure the severe discomfort of the wound? Assume we know that it won't kill him and that it will heal fully in, oh, say, nine months.
Yeah, there are holes in the example. In the case of feeding starving people, you are not the only one who can save them; you might be able to assume that there is some altruist who will step up, while it's unlikely there's another doctor on the street. Also, killing a fetus is not the same as healing a knife wound. But -- this is just to say why I don't think responsibility and choice should be the determining factors in everything. And why it's hardly the sole domain of liberals to shirk responsibility ... it's just a case of different evaluations of how much responsibility there is, and how much that matters.
Also, I don't think the responsibility argument stands as a justification for a pro-life advocate to allow for abortions in the case of rape -- at least, assuming the reason behind that person's position is that the fetus is a person with full-fledged rights. The simple fact is that it switches the objection against abortion from "right to life" to "responsibility" and back again. If it's always the case of responsibility, then anyone who was raped or whose birth control failed can get one, while someone who willingly had intercourse but whose life is threatened by the baby cannot. Additionally, this reduces the fetus to a mere consequence, and, according to the rhetoric of some, a punishment.
Of course, people don't have to embrace one guiding moral exclusively. There can be a reasonable blend of responsibility and preservation of right-to-life used for this issue ... As I can't come up with a consistent system myself, if anyone does have one, I would like to hear/read it.
One last remark about the characterization of abortion as nothing more than a resort for the irresponsible, and then I'll shut up: think people who have abortions are the only ones who kill for the sake of convenience? Because we do it all the damn time. Why do I eat meat, instead of getting all my nutrients from plants? Okay, so we're talking about humans? Then why do I go feed my anime habit instead of donating to charities? Why do musicians spend a million bucks on a music video instead of donating *that* to charities? Why do I not go out of my way to deliver food to every starving person in the city? It would help a lot of people -- it would save lives, in fact. And none of this would kill me, or even make me destitute. Simply put, it would merely be inconvenient. And that seems rather flimsy in the light of a woman barely makes ends meet with two jobs, and who has an abortion in order to keep working and earn enough to live on.
(Of course, one could take the stance that the latter is a case of actively killing a person -- if you do indeed view a fetus as such -- and the former is merely passively letting a person die. Can't go around saving everyone's life, after all. But I could also "let" a person die if they're choking to death ten feet away from me. Pretty fine line, and hardly wide enough to be ridden as a moral high horse, if you ask me.)
And then, of course, I'd say that a woman who knows she can neither carry the fetus nor raise the child and decides to have an abortion beats out someone who abandons her newborn or "mothers" the child by just making sure it keeps breathing. In both responsibility *and* respect for life. Perspective and circumstances do so much (there's wonderful gray areas to be swimming in, if you want to drive yourself crazy ^_~). My main gripe here was not this or that opinion, but just the unimpeachable, uncompromising, and/or unilateral approach some people take.
And now, I will shut up.
Tuesday, February 4, 2003 12:30 p.m.
Question for the more fluent in Japanese than I: How would you answer the question "Hon o yomu no to ongaku o kiku no to, dochira no hou ga tanoshii desu ka?" (Well, not that I want your actual opinion. ^_^;) I'm just wondering, if you're using the typical "_____ no hou ga _____ yori" form, would you use one "no" or two? As in, "Hon o yomu no no hou ga ongaku o kiku no yori tanoshii desu." I know the two "no" each have a different purpose, so would it technically be correct to include them both? But it sounds weird, so ... ^_^;;
That question was on our test, and I can't find an explanation in either my notes or the textbook. >_> My skit partner asked her Japanese friend, but *her* answer was that you don't use "no" at all when referring to preference among verbs. (As in, "hon o yomu hou ga tanoshii," I think. O.o) I'm very confused. (Not that it *really* matters -- I fudged my answer on the test and wrote "Hon o yomu no mo ongaku o kiku no mo totemo tanoshii desu." XD;;)
Lunchtime! Jaa~~
Monday, February 3, 2003 07:58 p.m.
Mou, Livejournal is being bothersome tonight. I think it's managed to slow down my surfing even *more* than my computer's processor. :P
So the comment you made about Ririn has triggered a rather strange train of thought in my head. XD;; Because Kougaiji's seiyuu is Kusao Takeshi, who also voiced Yukino's father in KareKano (because it fits, of course ... O.o). In one episode, he hears that Yukino brought home a boy and breaks down the door in order to attack him. Screaming about maggot bastards (mushi yarou) after his princesses, complete with a glowing 'chichi' kanji on his forehead. ^_^;; So ... while Ririn and Goku crushing on each other may be cute, whenever it is that Ririn *does* discover sex, I expect "bloody" instead of "amusing" -- i.e., Kougaiji with a glowing 'ani' kanji, charging after Goku. Limiters or no limiters. XD;;
Anyway. I'm getting a lot of food for thought and/or amusement out of thesetwo communities right now. Of particular note is this post on description in fanfic ... will read it more thoroughly later when I'm *not* stealing the computer from a neechan who needs to study. ^_^;;
I used to want that, too. He does have a nice voice, after all ... I just take solace in the idea that he's probably as bad as Furusawa Tohru when he sings, and we've all been saved from a lot of unnecessary pain. I, myself, could do without "Brue Eyes Brue" part deux.
And, since I'm feeling helpful ... lyrics to Onitsuka Chihiro's Sugar High can be found here. Translations, though, I have yet to find.
Sunday, February 2, 2003 09:10 p.m.
Okay, time to talk about random stuff. XD
Midterm on Friday went pretty well, I think. It's not that the test itself was difficult, since we got the study questions; what I'm concerned with is if I managed to express myself intelligently, while still writing for "an audience who is unfamiliar with the material," as we were supposed to do.
And, on a slightly related note, I found out that I could have gotten my English final from last quarter from my teacher's office. Which would have prevented me from gnawing at my fingernails over winter break until they released our grades. D'oh. ^_^; Might check to see if they're still there, but I dunno if it's worth it ...
Now for some links. Good essay on Mary Sues, to continue with the current thread, from Alara. Didn't really agree with her BNF entry, but this one really clicks with a lot of what I think. Has some bits that neko-chan and Tsaiko mentioned, as well. She focuses on the recent blanket definitions of MS going around, and emphasizes one as being most accurate and useful, which is "an original character who overshadows the canonical cast." (My feelings exactly.)
Oh, and do take note of the anonymous comment, at the end of the page. A worthwhile question to ask, that; I'm always leery when someone tries to define this or that aspect of fanfiction as something that *shouldn't* be written at *all*, rather than a personal pet peeve ... but, really, there's no need to be belligerent. "I can understand the slashers hating MS. They hate all women in fic," huh? Way to insult people an entire faction of writers for the sake of 'debate.' *bristles*
Also see this thread from the Mary Sue Report, which focuses more on the published fiction side of things. Nice dissection of what makes most people point to Anita Blake as an MS, even if they're not one of the people who labels all powerful and/or charismatic characters as such. Also differentiates between MS and actual (honest) self-insertion, which I think is an important thing to remember.
And if you're feeling particularly masochistic, see the post right before it. Not being an RPer myself, I can't tell whether I've been seeing unfortunate anomalies or actual trends, but ... I don't think I ever want to join a Harry Potter RP. O.o
Mou ... I didn't mean to spend this entire entry on Mary Sues. ^_^; I suppose I could talk instead about Ashes, and how I realized the reason I can't bring myself to start chapter 6 is because I hate chapter 5. XP You know how it is when you feel something is so bad that it's embarassing to even look at it? And it's not necessarily the case that it's really that *bad*; if another person were to look at it, they'd probably think it was okay, or maybe even good. (I don't even dislike the entire thing; much of it I'd like to keep, with perhaps minor edits.) There's just something that you, yourself, aren't happy with, and it will continue to bug you until you *do* something about it, demmit. And, yeah, that's what I need to do. And I will ... soon. Soon enough that I can go on to 6 and finish that before year's end ... ^_^;;
Wednesday, January 29, 2003 09:20 p.m.
Watching "American Idol" ... am totally into it. I dunno what it is, but. XD;;
Letter?*blinks* Anyhoo, have fun on Saturday, and happy early birthday~~ (And tell me how you like Chicago, okay?)
And refer to Vinita for Kingdom Hearts seiyuu. I *want* to hear Miki as Aladdin. XD;;
Back to studying? (Eh ... not until "American Idol" is over. ^_^;)
Tuesday, January 28, 2003 03:30 p.m.
There. That should fix it. >_>
I've suddenly realized I was being way too complacent about my upcoming midterm. My initial reaction had been to freak out, because I didn't think I had any idea what my professor wanted ... then I did the study questions, which seemed suspiciously easy, and figured I was all set ... and then my TA told us today that he expects 3/4 to 1 1/2 pages for each answer. O.o I ... have no idea how to come up with that much writing, based on these questions. They seem to be geared toward repeating what he's said in lecture (not outright regurgitation, I mean there's room to take the answers where we want) and outside of that I ... go blank. ~_~ So, I better study so as not to panic come Thursday night. XP (But first, preparation for the two quizzes I have tomorrow. And Dragon's Pen. So, um ... studying Wednesday. ^_^;)
Tuesday, January 28, 2003 02:23 p.m.
That was remarkably easy. o.o Usually coding takes me forever, but ... I guess this was just that simple. (It's nearly the same template from the last one, anyway. ^_^;;) Anyhoo, hope it's all functioning -- gotta go to class now, but I'll check it later.
Sunday, January 26, 2003 05:47 p.m.
Would you like me to give you a good kick in the pants? Or maybe start wailing on you with lunchtrays, a la Yukari-sensei? (Because I can do that, too, yanno. XD) I know you're feeling a bit iffy and nervous and nngh in general, but I also know you're a person who does live by what she says, in the end. And that you can do this. GO! FIGHT! FANTASTIC!!
Besides which -- you're fine the way you are, dearheart. Not in the sense that you should remain utterly stagnant for the rest of your life -- I know you don't want that -- but you've got a good start. And it's perfectly fine to be reliant on your loved ones, because you're *not* one of those cold and heartless anime villains who believes affection is for the weak. XP Seriously, though, being independent and rolling with the punches doesn't mean forsaking the need for human connections; if you ever feel like you're being rejected or ignored, then you're justified to feel unhappy. Just so long as you don't let your happiness hinge on another person's favor or attention, and that, if the case does arise that you're feeling neglected, you shoulder your own responsibility by making your feelings known. Even if doing so means embracing another kind of vulnerability. *gives you a gentle kick*
But no, finding comfort in the love of your friends isn't wrong. Making yourself a part of that exchange of friendship and support is ... eeto ... tsuyoi. (Gonna stop dispensing advice through AzuDai lines. Really. XD;;)
BTW, Lucius Malfoy *isn't* played by the same guy as Haldir -- but the latter did play a character named "Lucius" in an episode of Young Hercules. ^_^;