about
sigel phoenix is an eighteen year-old fangirl residing in Washington state and attending uw. she can be visited at moenokori, her home on the web, or contacted through email.

currently
taking a break from studies and enjoying the under-appreciated luxuries of home. watching azumanga daioh (in which she is particularly fond of osaka, yukari-sensei, and sakaki-san), shaman king, and jungle wa itsumo hale nochi guu. of manga, reading alice 19th and azumanga daioh; and of books without pictures, reading pablo neruda, rumi, and mary doria russell's children of god. listening to sakamoto maaya, utada hikaru, onitsuka chihiro, hamasaki ayumi, and whatever else catches her ear. sparkling over pretty elves, would-be kings with masculine stubble, and angsty wizard-werewolves; can be bribed with any visuals related thereto. (also pretending to work on from the ashes, but shhhh ...)

layout
featuring the girls from azumanga daioh getting into the winter spirit. all the images are screencaps made rather shoddily by me. lyrics come from the ranma ½ song "kiyoku tadashii kurisumasu" by doco. made using photoshop 5.5 and notepad, best viewed in 800x600 res or higher using a fairly recent version of msie.

links
valhalla
which way is up?
la chute
unsealed
lost thoughts
angel's sworn duty
penny for your thoughts
if wishes were fishes ...
man-blog
shinjitsu no ichiban
whispers in blindness
across the universe
maniac in denial
twilight dreams
tsubasa
mercuriality
sasayaku
kielle's livejournal
kirakira
the little page of right nuts
dance of the hours
spelunking for sanity
memewar
fandom wank
slap to the head


archives
pitas

Monday, January 6, 2003

Done with the first day of classes. I'll have a slight schedule change on Tuesday/Thursday, but I pretty much got the gist of it. The only instructor I have left to meet is my philosophy TA, whom I'll see tomorrow.

So far, my courses look good. My English teacher is a bit quiet -- today he went over the syllabus, and when no one had any questions he let us out ten minutes after the period had started o.o -- but he seems enthusiastic about the books we're reading. I just hope he's better with our writing than my teacher last quarter. ¬_¬ My Japanese TA is pretty nice, though not as genki as my one last quarter (who's teaching the same class at the same time, right next door T_T).

I'm excited about my philosophy class. Lecture got off to a slow start, but then the instructor broke out a (fictional) anecdote on puppy hunting. ^_O; I like him; he characterizes himself as mostly liberal, but makes fun of liberals. Or rather, young, hip, pseudo-liberals. :P Purposely going against the current of the students, he likes to tear down popular/liberal ideas, or at least force a reevaluation of them. I think that's good, at least for me, since it's not like I need any practice in rejecting *conservative* ideology. XD;; My CHID professor's most prominent method of thinking was perspective shifting, like asking such questions as "How would you think if the world and morals you knew were like ...?" or "What would you do if you experienced/were taught/discovered ...?" Mostly "how do things shape you?" questions. Which I liked a lot. I expect more specific hypothetical moral scenarios (as opposed to the general hypothetical contexts in CHID, if that makes sense) from this instructor. Sort of Socratic questioning, dragging in parallel moral thinking to challenge what we believe. Which I also like a lot. ^_^

The only thing I am not as pleased with is the topics we're scheduled to cover. We've got animal rights, abortion, euthanasia, death penalty, social responsibility, and terrorism, which are all really interesting to me (with the possible exception of animal rights, which doesn't intrigue as much). But I'm rather disappointed that there's nothing on religion, sexual mores, or morality versus legality, and how much we should impose personal morality on others (though that could be referenced in other topics, I guess). However, we *are* given the option of writing a paper in place of our second midterm, on the topic of our choice -- which means I could incorporate one of those ideas, get out of a test, and get a writing credit from the course, all at once. XD

In a somewhat similar vein, I recently discovered the Abortion Debate LJ community, which provides for some thought-provoking reading. Also the occasional mind-bending stupidity and frustrating belligerence, but overall much better than "debates" you usually find online.

Turned in job application today. *crosses fingers* Also cleared up confusion about scholarship funds, so ... Money issues could very definitely be looking up. ^_^

yuki no you ni ~ sunao na ~ 04:13 p.m.

Sunday, January 5, 2003

Stupid typos. XP Have edited the fic, so that inexplicable gap in the scene where Kenshin-tachi arrive in Kyoto is fixed. And now must resubmit new version to TFME so that correct version will be archived, because I'm anal like that. I really should read over these things before I post them to fifty different places. ~_~ Ah well, at least I'm fixing it now.

Perhaps I should add a note about good reading music for the fic, since I was always listening to something or other while writing. ^_^ Obvious first choice would be "Sound of Snow Falling" itself, from the Tsuioku Hen soundtrack. Because it's good as melancholy mood music, and because Iwasaki Taku is just great. :D Also, from Onicchi's (Onitsuka Chihiro -- I found that nickname on a French site, and I like it XD) Sugar High album: "Hyoryu no Hane" (which is what I was originally listening to when the plot bunny hit), "King of Solitude," and "Castle ~ imitation." I recommend them in that order, because I think it fits the story. ^_^; "Hanabi" and "Dolls" from Ayu's Rainbow album are also good.

Yeah, so no one cares about this but me. Ii wa. XD

yuki no you ni ~ sunao na ~ 12:43 a.m.

Saturday, January 4, 2003

Back in the dorm. It doesn't feel like I should be here. o.o

It's strange how much leaving home again triggered the same tug-of-war of sadness and excitement as coming up here at the beginning of the school year did. I didn't expect it to be as severe, this time around ... I want to go to my new classes and meet new people, but I miss my friends at home. I miss my home, period. And hell, I'm lazy -- I don't really want to be back in school just yet. :P

And in a slighly more shallow and irrelevant vein, I wish I had more time at home so I could edit this layout. It would function perfectly well as a generic winter design instead of a Christmas one, but for the title of the header image. And I don't want to change it, because I like having the AzuDai girls up -- but I can't edit the title because the original PSD file is on my computer at home. T_T

Bleh, why am I so tired? I need something productive to do to distract myself. ~_~

yuki no you ni ~ sunao na ~ 09:44 p.m.

Thursday, January 2, 2003

Fic is posted, only a day late for New Year's. ^_^; Called "Sound of Snow Falling," for lack of a better title. Couldn't think of one even after I was done typing it up -- so when in doubt, use BGM titles. XD;;

Hope everyone had fun on New Year's. My resolutions, for anyone who's interested, are:

1. Get a job. (Either for this quarter, or in the summer.) Earning money is good. :P
2. Become more proactive socially. Much as I love hanging out with neechan and neko-chan, I'd like to make friends with people, instead of just being good acquaintances. (A specious resolution, admittedly, because it gives me no instructions on exactly how to accomplish this ... n.n)
3. Finish chapter 6 of From the Ashes. (And yes, this is a by-year's-end goal. I'm being realistic here. XD;;)
4. Kick myself out of funks as fast as I get into them. (This is very difficult, I know. We'll see how it goes.)

I'm sure I should add something in there about exercise, because my poor arteries are probably suffering from the holiday ... but hey, I'm only one woman. ^_~

I'd also like to share that Chicago is an excellent movie. (Have you seen it yet, or are you planning to?) I don't remember too much of how the original was, so I can't critique it on faithfulness, but I think the adaptation of musical-to-movie in general was really well done. My favorites were "Cell Block Tango" and "Mr. Cellophane." Also enjoyed how, whenever the sound faded and the lights went down, you'd know a Good Part was coming up -- i.e. a production number, and Taye Diggs. :D

I'm thisclose to being done with Children of God ... Here's my subliminal message: readitreaditreaditreadit. (No, really; it's quite good. XD)

yuki no you ni ~ sunao na ~ 11:00 p.m.

Monday, December 30, 2002

Christmas snuck up on me, and now New Year's is doing the same. O.o At least I have (somewhat) coherent plans already set up for the week -- which shall be a very short week indeed, and then I will be back in Seattle (as a sophomore, too, go figure). Though I'm excited about my new classes, and will hopefully be able to apply for a job at one of the campus convenience stores ... I don't want to be there just yet. First on my list, right now, is actually being able to spend a substantial amount of quality time with my friends -- an undertaking which has so far been forced to battle with family time, as well as sheer laziness on my part. It was easier when I lived at home while attending school -- then it wouldn't be so hard to choose between going out and seeing people, and being lazy at home. ^_O;

Fic is going well. Becoming longer than I thought it would be. o.o I hope to finish it tonight, but because I'll be running around the next couple of days I may not get it uploaded before I leave. Also hope to have a title by that point. >_>

Not much to say. My life is kinda boring right now, but I like it that way. :D

yuki no you ni ~ sunao na ~ 07:48 p.m.

Saturday, December 28, 2002

So I can tell right now that Children of God is one of those books that will leave me wandering about dazedly, in love and bereft, when it's over. Not that this is a big surprise -- the same thing happened after I finished The Sparrow (though I don't think I like the sequel quite as much as I did that one, at least so far). I was quite aware beforehand that there would be a lot of crap piled on the characters in here, like in the last book; it's just that now it's becoming more clear just what the horrible catastrophe will be ... and I'm torn between impatience to know what happens and dread at actually finding out. >_<

And then I take a break from reading to write -- which is good because I'm feeling more inspired, but bad because the fic is somewhat melancholy, anyway. It's not really angsty -- shockingly enough -- and the ending is actually happy. But I'm right at the meat of the story now, which is the worst part, so ...

Basically: book is depressing, fic is depressing. MOU! *yukari growl*

yuki no you ni ~ sunao na ~ 07:55 p.m.

Friday, December 27, 2002

You know what they say about not appreciating something until it's gone? It really annoys me when 'they' are right. XP

It would be stupid to say that writing used to be easy for me -- "A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people," quoth Thomas Mann -- but it was ... clear. I would still spend hours on a page, like I do now, but it would be for something I *knew* was coming. I knew that some unusual and lovely words were just waiting to be dug up from my head; or maybe hanging suspended, to be carefully pulled down and arranged. When I think of my strengths and weaknesses, I know quite well that plot construction and flow and pacing are things I need definite work on, but, you know, prose has been something that I've been relatively proud of. I mean, when I get going I can really get swept up in it -- probably too swept up, sometimes, but oh well XP -- and there's even some laughably old stuff that I still consider to have a touch of that certain quality, when I go back and read it.

And I'm not going to wail and moan about the irrevocable loss of my muse or some such melodrama, but -- it's getting a touch annoying. ^_^; I've had a sense of writer's block before, but didn't know if that really applied to me because it wasn't like I *couldn't* write at all. Even on the bad days, when I sort of wrestled with things and the words remained some amorphous blob, I still knew they were in there; and at some point they'd crystallize, and I'd have what I need. More recently I've become more aware of what it's really like to feel stuck, when it's not just 'hard to do' but not *doing* at all. Right now I'm at one of those low points, where it all feels distinctly hollow, and nothing's coming -- nothing's even *there* to wrestle with. It's like I'm just reaching blindly, and sort of draaaagging words to be put on paper.

I'm probably just out of practice. I'd say it's sort of like a stiff joint, something I just need to exercise a bit till it stops creaking -- but even so. It's a bother, and it's frustrating, and I'm going to whine. Whine whine whine. XP

yuki no you ni ~ sunao na ~ 05:09 p.m.

Thursday, December 26, 2002

Hope everyone had a merry Christmas (or just a good day in general, if you don't particularly celebrate). I think one of my best presents was checking my grades online the night before and discovering I got a frickin' 4.0. O.O Was not expecting that -- yeah, Japanese was a given, but I didn't even think my English teacher *liked* my stuff. Am not expecting it again -- I decided early on that I'd let go of hoping to achieve that, and just concentrate on keeping my GPA up to the standards of the scholarship people. But -- I certainly won't complain. I'll enjoy it while it lasts. XD

Thanks for the birthday wishes, Tiff and Lili-chan! ^_^ Glad you like the layout -- I was going to add in a little screencap of Yukari beating Tomo with the lunchtrays from episode 18, but neechan said it didn't fit the spirit. ^_~

We watched the Moulin Rouge DVD that neechan gave me for my birthday last night. I liked it before, but I like it even better upon second viewing. I think it was because I had the wrong expectations the first time; it was a bit jarring, even though I still enjoyed it then. Also, as neechan pointed out, Ewan McGregor looks really pretty when he sings. I mean, some people can look sorta funny, but not him, nope. *_* I now really, really, really want him to play Remus. Sure, the fact that he can sing has absolutely no bearing on his appropriateness in the role (and making Sirius parade around as Satine wouldn't be *that* amusing ... I suppose XD) but it would make me happy. Very very happy. XD And BoA as Cho? Now *that* would be fun. XD

Writing a Christmas fic ... sorta. ^_^; Nothing really came to mind at first; the first thing I thought of was an Enishi oneshot, but I didn't have any solid ideas (besides, you know, putting snow in it O.o). And it would have been rather depressing, anyway. ~_~ Actually, what I have now isn't terribly happy; it's not even really a Christmas fic, because I think at that point in time the Western cultural influence wasn't great enough for that. So it's more of a New Year's fic, and sort of melancholy, inspired by listening to a lot of Onitsuka Chihiro late at night. ^_^; But it's good to be writing again -- give me a couple days, and it should be done. ^_^v

yuki no you ni ~ sunao na ~ 02:40 p.m.

Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Checking in, catching up. A bit of a change from the last layout, but the AzuDai girls are so sweet I had to use them for a holiday design. :D I don't know about the layout itself; I almost went in a totally different direction, but wanted to have more pictures of the characters in there. So, here we are. (Though, try as I might, I could not get a decent screencap of Sakaki-san catching the snowball. Che.)

The past few days have been relaxing and pleasant, if not particularly eventful. I'm almost done with Christmas shopping, having started a whole week ago. XD;; But dang, Christmas really sneaks up on you when you're at college. Or should I say, just the first year -- everything is displaced anyway, holidays are just part of that bit.

Also had my birthday on Sunday. I am no longer a minor! FU FU FU FU. XD I had a, er, party, I guess (it feels weird to use that term ^_^;), which was really nice. My mom worked her butt off cooking, and my dad was setting up and neechan helped too -- I just felt really happy and loved and grateful. And I was glad to have most of my closest friends there (albeit some were a bit late ^_~). Don't you worry -- you wished me a happy birthday before I left! And I'm glad you got back okay, with no major irritation from the rain. ^_^

What I said before about getting really pissed when people dance around grudges -- and never have the guts to state their grievances -- still stands. I wasn't really bothered; I felt more sorry, really. I think it's just a huge waste of time.

Anyway, Onitsuka Chihiro's new album, Sugar High, is really nice. Thank you again for it, and Rainbow! Neko-chan was with me when I saw them at Kino's and angsted over them -- should've known you'd have them already. XD I wanna get the lyrics for "Not Your God" now, cause I like it lots ...

Have to mention that we saw The Two Towers, of course. Legolas was pretty, Aragorn was sexy. I am content. XD;; No, really -- I was heavily anticipating the battle of Helm's Deep, and it did not disappoint. *_* And I loved the character development in this one, since Frodo got most of it in FoTR -- in this one, Elijah Wood was generally restricted to angsty-looking Frodo and stoned-looking Frodo, but hey, what can you do. (And I'm absolutely in love with Sam, now, too. XD)

I want to see it again. Seeing LoTR makes me want to watch the movies over and over -- as opposed to watching the Harry Potter movies, which pretty much makes me want to read the books again. ^_^; I suppose it'd be the same for LoTR if I'd read them before, but unfortunately I have yet to finish Fellowship of the Ring. ^_^;; Anyway, I need another viewing, if only for the opportunity to be utterly shallow and just sparkle and make fun -- I was torn between the high drama and the parody potential during the entire movie. Too much Secret Diaries on the mind (and there's a new one, yay! XD). And in that vein, there's this condensed version, which is most amusing. XD

yuki no you ni ~ sunao na ~ 01:06 a.m.