I don't think I could have imagined it any better. Not that I imagined it much, because I've only heard Phantom in its entirety once or twice, but still. It was very, very good. XD The reviews were right; it is quite a visual piece, but, at least in this production, that doesn't detract from the story. And even though none of us had seen it before, and only a couple had even heard it, everyone liked it, which I'm glad for.

It was weird, seeing the songs I'd only heard before, actually being performed on stage. It was especially surreal to see the title song in real life ... I'd seen it performed once before, in a televised tribute to Cameron Mackintosh (Colm Wilkinson played the Phantom, I remember, because I thought it was so weird after seeing him as Valjean ^^;), but live, it was just amazing. And the guy who played the Phantom -- he just took over for the other actor, and he'd been in the New York production previously -- did incredibly well. He played him with such vulnerability -- but not pathos. I didn't remember the last half of the show very well, so it was almost like seeing it for the first time, and it was so heartbreaking ... The actor was really good in alternately projecting a monstrous facade and the inner humanity. In fact, I found his rendition of "All I Ask of You" more preferable to Raoul's. :p Though I did like Christine and Raoul's duet -- odd, considering I'm not too fond of the couple. I just always tend to root for the underdog; it's why I prefer Eponine to Cosette. ^^;

I only have one complaint -- two, actually, because at times the singers' vibrato made the lyrics incomprehensible, especially in the case of Christine; lucky I knew most of the words already -- about "Think of Me." They changed the lyrics! T_T I don't know if this happened in an earlier version, since I've only heard the original London cast recording. But besides altering some of the verses, "Remember me, once in a while/Please promise me you'll try" became "Remember me, every so often ..." which just sounds way too ... casual for me. XP

Anyway, besides that, I loved it. It's been ages since I've seen a live musical ... I definitely want to see more, if I can next year in Seattle. And next June, Jesus Christ Superstar is apparently coming to Portland, so I'm aiming for that if I can.

I also got more books at the library today. Pretty much all I've been getting are books/authors I've been meaning to read for a long time ... but it occurs to me I should probably be going for more academic fare, especially since one of my courses next year is on medieval and Renaissance literature. Bleah. XP

..........09:42 p.m.

Wednesday, July 24, 2002
You know, it's sort of amusing how much fun I can have with my friends just talking. I mean, sitting around and doing absolutely nothing else, entertaining ourselves only by conversation. I like going out and dancing once in a while too (swing just as much as school dance-type things ... I just can't be cool XD;;); but we can get some really good conversations going. Like about Nietzsche and dystopian societies and omnipotence and other random things -- things I don't necessarily know that much about, but luckily my friends are smart. ^_^ It's actually almost sad how engaged and stimulated I get, all without the requirement of alcohol. XD Granted, it's not the most balanced collection of minds -- we're all recently graduated, affluent-suburban teenagers who are by varying degrees liberal, and our resident ranting conservative had already left. ^_^; But there was a good range of opinions, and ways of thought.

Something I'm curious about was one of the questions that came up -- if God is omnipotent, can He make a rock that cannot be lifted? And if so, can He then lift it? Last night we came up with an answer I pretty much agree with, but I wonder what other people think.

And I finished reading one of the topics of last night's conversation, The Handmaid's Tale, today. And it is one excellent book. I don't want to give away the ending, but I thought it was really fitting. I don't know what I'm onto next -- The Mists of Avalon, possibly, because I've been meaning to read that; but then there's the books my cousin gave me in California ... @_@

Meimi-san, I hope you feel better. It's annoying to have to take care of yourself, but the results are obviously beneficial, ne? :P

..........04:25 p.m.

Tuesday, July 23, 2002
Okay, most of my results were pretty boring, but this amused me:

I'm Jean Grey
What X-Men Character are You?

Goodness Gracious, you're everyone's favourite do-gooder Jean Grey, also known as Phoenix. You look after your teammates, get along with everyone, have a wonderful man who loves you and have pretty much achieved perfection. But look out when you're PMSing and you become Dark Phoenix: a raging homicidal bitch with a knack for causing trouble.

Fitting, wot? (Both the name and the raging homicidal bitch part. XD) Really, I don't know how you got what you did. I mean, Scott? *dies laughing*

What type of Bishounen are you? Find out at artificial-soul.net by Rin.

Nothing too interesting about this one, just hey cool, I got Kenshin. And pitty Kenshin, to boot. (Backwards Kenshin, but ... I repeat the pitty.)

..........12:09 p.m.

Monday, July 22, 2002
Went out for something of a girls' day with my mom today ... lunch, shopping, the usual. Except the shopping was severely limited, because I have probably hit my spending limit for the summer. ^_^; We went to the post office to buy the money order (and it was $.70 less than yours. Booyaka. XD;;) for my doujinshi, which was no small amount of money. I mean, I was quite aware of that before the fact, and believe it or not I'm still not broke, but -- well. That was certainly my graduation present to myself. XD;;

Anyhoo, today is a good day. Well, perhaps not today itself -- it's actually quite fricking HOT, and I feel rather icky and lethargic -- but it's part of the road toward good things. For one thing, it's three days till Phantom. ^_^ And I only have two more days of taking my nasty tasting antibiotics. And, as of today, I have had my ears pierced for five weeks. Which means only one more week before I can change my earrings -- though theoretically I'm supposed to keep the next pair in for two weeks straight, then wear only studs for the next four months. But at least I won't have to clean them all the time anymore, so nyah. :P (Oh, and I got my official AP scores today, as well. That doesn't really lead to anything, but at least now I know UW didn't make a mistake in reporting my scores. ^^;)

Heh. I like. XD

..........04:59 p.m.

Sunday, July 21, 2002
Am currently about a hundred pages into The Handmaid's Tale, and while it's quite good, it makes me want to tear my hair out and scream. The sentiment is probably only aggravated by the fact that it is a logical extension of certain elements of society today. I won't go far as to say it's prophetic, because I like to think -- I hope -- that we are smarter than that. But still, the probability, however small, of it ... RAR.

The thing about me is, I have the stubborn will to rail against and never accept a situation like that, but unfortunately I lack the resourcefulness to be able to do something about it. XP

Thanks, dearie. It's good to know that I have people who, if I fail to take care of myself, will be there to beat me. XD;;

And that's about it. I'm feeling much better today, thank goodness; hopefully that was a one time thing deshou? >_>

And anyway, um, in case I was silly enough to think *I* had pesky health issues -- Tin-san, best wishes. The hallucinations are certainly entertaining, but I hope you feel well soon. o.o

..........08:26 p.m.

Saturday, July 20, 2002
So ... last night I couldn't sleep because my heart rate was unusually fast. It wasn't racing, exactly, but it was faster than usual, and while I wasn't out of breath, my chest felt strained. Suffice it to say this scared the shiznat out of me. o_o It went on pretty much all night, though I did manage some sleep eventually -- after awakening my parents and calling my friend's dad, who's a doctor (luckily he seemed somewhat confused but not annoyed ^^;). Anyway, this morning it was still fast -- still is now -- and my mom called the pharmacist, to see if it was my meds, then my doctor, who said I was having an anxiety attack.

.......

Neechan already knows I have issues with stress. But typically that manifests itself in some kind of nausea or other stomach problem. *This* just came out of nowhere, and it almost pisses me off more than frightens me, just because it's so random. Not that I'm not worried at all -- but I feel much better knowing what it is, at least. My mom's determined that it is partly the result of stress, but also my pathetically weak constitution. As she pointed out to me, I haven't had the best sleeping habits this summer (which is true), have been eating less than usual (also true ... waking up at 11 often means skipping or skimping on breakfast), and haven't exercised (too true -_-). So I'm to reverse all of that. And, my doctor suggested, take a relaxing bath and listen to soothing music. ^_^;; Haven't done the former, but I did break out the Iwao Junko and Onitsuka Chihiro, as suitably mellow background.

And now I'm leisurely reading blogs, attempting to avoid anything that would aggravate anything. >_>

Sankyuu, I did win lotsa lovely doujinshi on eBay this morning (with the help of a hired sniper, nyahahaha XD). And no, that's *not* what gave me the anxiety attack -- rather, I think it was a gradual building up of things. Actually, the 'attack' has been on and off today, and this morning was when I was feeling better. ^_^;; Distraction helps, it seems. And sleep.

Egad, my parents just brought in a big ass pizza from Costco. o.o I'm not hungry, but I guess I should eat. ^_^;

..........06:52 p.m.

Wednesday, July 17, 2002
Just watched the first two episodes of Pretear, and I like it. Himeno is actually not annoying! (Not that I *really* disliked Miaka or Usagi or any of the other mahou shoujo ... anyway.) I would, however, like to see a shoujo wherein the romantic leads do not start off in some sort of antagonistic relationship. I mean, it's nice that they're not all lovey-dovey from the get go, but then often you also meet the side character who gets along perfectly well with the heroine, and you *know* they won't end up together, that she'll end up infatuated with the kakkoi hero, and that this is also the possible beginning of The Love Polygon. (I'm stereotyping horribly. I know. I just have some hang-ups with shoujo.)

Anyway, so I went seiyuu hunting because I could have sworn some of the Knights sounded familiar, but it turns out that the only one I know, Ueda Yuuji, plays the crazy father. O_o Maa.

..........10:26 p.m.

Wednesday, July 17, 2002
Things work out. I keep forgetting that. I mean, I'm always aware of that; I guess what worries me is that issues will resolve themselves but not necessarily 'work out' in a good way. But, I just wish I could keep it from getting to me, regardless. Which it did yesterday. One of my personal goals is to always be aware -- of my blessings, of just the little things that make sparkly and happy. Neko-chan, who distracted me with pitty pictures yesterday -- can I take lessons from you? ^^;;

Anyhoo, so the various things that were making me tear my hair and gnaw a cloth a la classic anime chick style are now getting better, more or less. One of them was the infection I have in one of my erstwhile wisdom teeth ... I was so paranoid it was something horribly wrong with my jaw or would require surgery or something. It was funny, though; I was so concentrated on being calm and non-hysterical about it all that when the doctor started off with "It's like a T-bone steak ..." I just nodded sagely. ^^;; I can only imagine what went through his head. (He was talking about the periosteum or something, so it really did relate.) But he said it was all good; I just have to take antibiotics for a week. There's still the chance of side effects or the unlikely need for minor surgery to keep me on my paranoid toes, though. XD;;

Phantom thing ... working on it. The other thing is something I won't talk about because I'm still marginally paranoid, but neechan knows and is welcome to smack me. >.>

Memory. Freedom. Thoughts. Intellect.
Take the quiz.

When I first saw 'wind' I thought it would be totally off, but it actually rather fits. Especially in comparison with the other elements. And, it coordinates well with my layout. XD

..........04:04 p.m.

Tuesday, July 16, 2002
He-hen, I have secured tickets to Phantom of the Opera! XD Here's hoping everyone who wanted to go *can* go, because there were some scheduling rearrangements ... what can I say, two weeks before the end of the run we're lucky to have gotten tickets at all. The Ticketmaster guy looked at me sorta funny when I said I wanted seven tickets; I thought of telling him, "We're recently graduated seniors, of *course* we procrastinated." ^_^; Unfortunately we're in the second balcony, and no one has opera glasses; but at least it's first row. Someday, though -- someday I *will* watch a Broadway show so I can actually see the faces of the performers ...

In other news, I'm spending lots of money. O_o Luckily my mother will be reimbursed for the couple hundred she charged to her card for these tickets; but of course there's my own, which she won't let me pay for, and the dress I got to wear to the show, which she also bought ... and I'm planning a couple more large-ish purchases in the near future. >_< Must fight to pay for them myself. It's not that I don't have the money; I do, and my mom is perfectly aware of that. She just wants me to save it all for next year. I desperately want to learn fiscal responsibility, especially with college looming on the horizon, but I can tell right now it will be difficult for me. I'm normally pretty frugal, but whenever I do let loose, I end up splurging. XP

Bleh. And here I am bemoaning my fate when all that's really happening is that I'll be living three hours' drive away from home, in the relatively controlled atmosphere of a dorm. Visiting my relatives sort of helped me become more aware of how much going away for college isn't really *that* monumental. I had aunts and uncles who didn't know what college I'm going to, or thought I was already in college; or cousins who've already been and gone; and I just thought, yep, get over yourself, it's really not that big of a deal.

I don't have to be completely financially independent just yet. I just have to be ready for when I pick up and move to New York to embrace the starving-artist-bohemian lifestyle. XD

..........03:50 p.m.

Monday, July 15, 2002
Neechan, I dunno if you're checking your UW account from there, but I just sent you an email and I need j00 to reply soon.

..........03:36 p.m.

Sunday, July 14, 2002
So lots of stuff has happened. ^_^; The first of which (at least in my mind) being that I *didn't* get my AP scores from the College Board, but did receive a report from UW telling me what credits I've earned based on my tests. And ... I got a 5. On all three. English Lang/Lit, Comparative Government, and Calculus.

^_________________________________^

I guess most people wouldn't quite get how big this is for me. I mean, at least the people who also took the AP exams this year or in recent history will understand the magnitude of a 5 on Calculus (AB, yeah, but who the frickin' heck CARES -- it's a miracle for me! o_o), but ... I dunno, it's just sick but AP is/was such a huge part of my life. I'm prouder of these scores than, say, getting my diploma. XD;; (Because for the latter, I'd say the hardest part was getting through junior year, really, so it was pretty much done and celebrated over way before the fact.) It's validation, it's ... it's just happy fluffy SPARKLIES. XD

Okay, moving on. While I was in Cali I rediscovered my inner child, watching cartoons with my little cousins (who aren't little anymore, really O.o) and falling in love with Spongebob Squarepants. I'd never seen it before, and ... d00d, just gotta love that laugh. XD;; I also saw Coyote Ugly on Thursday night/Friday morning, and it's actually pretty good. Despite the look of it, it's quite the chick flick. And one with a bit of depth, to boot (yes, I just said Coyote Ugly has depth ^^;;), though the love story is typically contrived. But oh well, the guy had a cute accent. XD

On Saturday night we went to watch my cousin's dance exhibition (though we missed her part because it was three minutes long and we were late >_<) and got to see the various other events at the dance place. One of them was a short exhibition of Latin dancing with a girl who started studying at age 16 (she's 19 now), and ... wow. I wanna learn that -- it looked *fun*! I've always sorta wanted to dress up in one of those typical Latin dancing costumes, with my hair in a bun and a flower behind my ear and a twirly skirt. ^_^; I don't think I have the hips for it, but even this girl, who was quite good, was outshined by her partner in that department ... It was like the man's torso was attached to his lower half by a screw. A very loose screw. Kowai yo. @_@

Anyhoo, now after another twelve-hour car ride, I am at home sweet home. I wanted to stay longer, but also wanted to be in my own bed pretty much equally. And now that I'm back I can see my friends, some of whom I've missed for weeks. T_T And the online people I've missed getting to read daily. XD It's good to be home.

*checks email*

... 131 new messages. *thunk!* Buuuut, I even got a piece of feedback! (Almost lost in the morass of spam, and hoping I didn't miss more. >.>) It's the second piece of feedback I've gotten in two weeks, and they're both about old fics. @_@ Huzzah.

..........03:07 p.m.