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Okay, so I think I've got it all planned out how I'm going to finish my Government final by the time of the AP exam (as opposed to the other suggested date of May 3, because that just wouldn't be human), even with Sakura Con next weekend, Prom the weekend after that, and the English and Calculus AP tests the next Monday and Tuesday. I'll be able to do it if there are no recurrences of the horrendous unproductivity that afflicted me during this entire past week. And that's sort of a large 'if.' >_< But I'm actually sort of giving myself room for slacking, since we only have to answer 20 of the 24 questions to get an A. The only problem is, every one of the questions seems to me to be something I should seriously consider and write my thoughts about in order to be prepared for the exam. :/
I'm also planning to look over my Calculus review packets, either tonight or tomorrow, to see if I can understand them. The practice AP questions my teacher gave us actually seem easier than the packets, though ... so hopefully, if I can do those, it's not a huge deal if I can't get these "important themes," right? ^_^; Tomorrow, I'm headed to Uwajimaya for a friend's birthday-thingy. While I'm there, I'm going to get his birthday present (really, where else would be a better place to get it? ^^;), buy some food for SakCon since neechan doesn't think we'll have time to hit up the Uwajimaya in Seattle, and look for FuruBa manga. I know I should save up for the con, but there probably won't be manga dealers there, and ... it's FuruBa. XD I just downloaded the song "Boho Days," which is a little bonus track on the "tick, tick... BOOM!" album. It's a demo track, sung by Jonathan Larson himself ... kinda cool. ^_^ have a real circus ~~ 05:39 p.m. on Saturday, April 20, 2002
Okay, I know all those stereotypes about conventions are a gross exaggeration, but the fact that they even *have* this for SakCon is a sign that some of those stereotypes are well-founded, yes? XD;;
SEVEN DAYS. *runs screaming from room* have a real circus ~~ 08:02 p.m. on Friday, April 19, 2002
AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!
Why why WHY couldn't we be going to AX *this* year?? ;_; I want to go meet him and be as much of a fangirl to him as he was to Jim Lee ... XD;; And GAH! Will someone help me understand Calculus? I swear it all made sense the first time I learned it ... XO have a real circus ~~ 06:14 p.m. on Friday, April 19, 2002
I think I found a better way to rephrase what I was trying to say yesterday, at least in part: what bothers me most is that it sometimes feels like I'm writing the same old story (or fic) that's been written a thousand times before. I want my writing to stand out. Now, my problem was thinking that for that to happen, *everything* had to be new; and not relying enough on the other aspects important to good writing, like, say, the words themselves. A good story can stand out for being well-written, yes? Yes. ^_^
In other news, I helped nominate one of my friends for Prom Court. He presented the idea to me and said that, as an openly bi guy -- and these are his exact words -- people would shit their pants if he were Prom King. Or at least on Court. *niyari* Erin-san, I <3 the new layout. Super Sparkly Oogata Fun. :3 Eight days and counting. Oh, the anticipation ... XD have a real circus ~~ 06:00 p.m. on Thursday, April 18, 2002
You know, I think I've determined I have an obsession with novelty. In terms of writing, at least (though I can certainly see how it could apply to the rest of my personality, because I have a tendency to get tired of things rather quickly -_-;;). When I write, I always want something new. If the words come easily to me, it always feels like I'm simply being trite -- I want to be different; even if ideas are flowing and scenes are appearing in my head, it doesn't work unless I'm feeling truly inspired, like I'm writing something innovative. (That's also why I dislike writing straight exposition, because it's so hard to write people talking or describe a quick series of events in a new way.) I can't do quick, simple little stories, because I want everything to be surprising -- not surprising as in shock the audience and give them heart attacks, but perhaps unexpected. Like J.K. Rowling's plot twists. o.O And I want that all the time. It's rather absurd, really, but I can't help it.
Ummm, and I'm probably not being very clear about it either. As always, it made sense in my head. Let me give an example (because another thing I obsess about is examples o.o;;): we went on a field trip today and watched a play. It's based on Tim O'Brien's book, If I Die in a Combat Zone, Box Me Up and Ship Me Home, which is a famous Vietnam War novel by a famous Vietnam War author. It's supposed to be good, and I thought it was ... but sometimes it felt trite. And the thing is -- it's not. If I hadn't known the work's reputation as a good and different type of war story, actually, I would have found the thing entirely innovative. It's just that, since I already knew about how it was innovative, I sort of -- expected something innovative in comparison to that. If that makes sense. Basically, I am so very freaking fixated on making things innovative, simply hearing about what something already is makes it seem old for me when I see/read it. ... Still not making sense. =_= Anyway, the point is, this constant need for novelty is so incessant that I often cannot write at all because everything feels trite. It always feels like I'm forcing it out. I could work as much as possible on making the language beautiful, but it doesn't matter. If I'm not struck with some fantastic new idea on plot or imagery or characterization then it's trite trite trite. Soooo ... I think I've finally gotten it through my head that this is a bad, bad thing. I was writing the opening of Ashes 5 on the bus today (yes, on the bus, imagine that o.o), and wrestling with the usual mental block, and I decided that I shouldn't have to write some kind of freaking brilliant development in the field of literature everytime I put pencil to paper. Like, it's okay if not everything comes out of left field for the audience, as long as it's still written well. After all, when reading others' work, I still consider writing to be good writing if it's done that way. (I mean, if the ideas are really old, no amount of pretty prose can save it; the writing tends to be uninspired anyway, in those cases.) But ... yes. I've committed myself to this decision. (And if this little conclusion of mine does not seem viable to the more experienced and skilled writers out there who secrete genius from every pore ... shh. Don't burst my happy little bubble. XD;;) I'm still trying for new things, though. The semi-idea I developed concerning what happened between Aoshi and Misao in Ashes, pre-fic (which we have been alluding to with the subtlety of ... a large stick o.o) was dogging me because even though I tried to make it into something other than your standard AoMisa fanfic plot, it sounded so old in my head. So I've come up with something I consider a bit more interesting. However ... the past events involving Aoshi and Megumi (which we have also alluded to, and if you thought we were done with those two then hah!), for example, though not the product of inhuman feats of intellect, I have no problem with because I think they will be handled well. So ... nyeh. Part of this was inspired by feedback, yes. ^_^; I'd like to think I'm not a wanker who leeches happy vibes off her reader responses, but what can I say, I get the warm fuzzies like everyone else. And the person who reviewed (I dunno if she reads this ^_^;) has been following Ashes from the beginning -- the feedback was for the new chapter -- and consistently writes sparkly, but intelligent comments. She wrote about many things, and talked about what made the writing work so well. And no, there was nothing along the lines of "Oh my god, everything that happened was new and brilliant and amazing"; it was just about what was in the chapter that made it well-written. And I thought ... yeah, I can agree with that. ^_^ Okay. Enough with confusing and/or annoying everyone. I have a sort of mean joke concerning the end of Seisou Hen episode 2 that my friend said (mini-tangent here: he's happy and I'm happy and I think everything that happened recently happened for a reason and it's all working out well and this is a GOOD THING :D). Don't read if you haven't seen it, and know, oh, minimal Japanese. [Kaoru to Kenshin during their final reunion: "Shinta. Shinda."]
Okay, that was sad. What can I say, I'm easily amused. XD;;;
Akito is sexier when he isn't dressing like a h0. Or languishing over windowsills like a stoned h0. That being said, I would have run away at the first sight of his sexy bum -- or murmur of his silky voice, as it were -- if I were Tohru.
I didn't understand much of Furuba 13, dialogue-wise. I was feeling lazy and not putting much effort into listening, so I really didn't catch a lot. Not even during Shigure and Hatori's little scene at the end. T_T
"For Fruits Basket" still makes me cry. They played THE instrumental part during the Shigure and Hatori scene. T_____T
In a random jrock sidenote, the more I listen to Siam Shade's "Tears I Cried," the more I like it. And now that I've read the translation, I really love it. <3<3<3
And I really, really should start my Government project. I'm not going to have much time to work tomorrow, either, which means I should be doing double the work now. But instead ... I'm downloading more Siam Shade. *siiiiigh*
Feeling myself falling into a slump again ... am trying to hold it back. Now's definitely not a good time. >_<
Oh, and random FYI, if you didn't already know: the second kanji in Hakkai's name is for "admonish" or "warn." It's the same kai in jukkai, or "the Ten Commandments." Sorta fitting, I guess, but I wonder why he would use that of all characters (besides the pun, I mean ^^;) -- why not something more his style? Like, oh, say, "self-punishment" or "festering pit of angst"?
... Yes, I wub Hakkai. XD;;
Just watched Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes, identifying the crux of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict -- or at least, the current one, and the specific problem of getting either side to actually do something useful. I rather like Andy Rooney.
Um ... That's about it. I should start Ashes 5, really, but there are new chapters in a fic I've been following, and you know reading the product of someone else's blood, sweat and tears is ever so much more interesting than writing your own. XD Try it out yourself, if you're so inclined.
Um, I'm really not in that bad of a mood. ^_^; I just have a tendency to take things "now" to mean "forever." As in, "I'm stressed now" bears down on me with the weight of "I'll *always* be stressed." Even if logically, I know that's not the case. So now that I feel sick, when I look at what I have ahead of me in the coming weeks, it's all overshadowed by my current condition ... Does that make sense? I'm sure there's some sort of psychological defect involved in this. >_> It's like an animalistic inability to separate present conditions from considerations of the future. You know how some animals will be absolutely enthralled by something in front of them, and forget about it the moment you take it away? _o_;;
Anyway, good news. Neechan just sent me the final part of Ashes 4. ^o^ It'll be posted in a few minutes.
Also, I went to Farmer's Market today -- which is pretty much a bunch of food and craft booths lined up on one street downtown. Not too many things caught my eye, but of the ones that did, they were all expensive. >_< And, well, SakCon and all. (Doujinshi beat out pretty jewelry, no contest. XD;;) We did get some freshly baked donuts, like we did last year ... the booth has this machine that makes them right there, so they're warm and soft when you get them. If you get them right as they're made, they're almost squishy. Very yummy, too. :)~
So, what was I saying about people meeting me at SakCon ...? XD;;
So, in an attempt to counteract my natural propensities toward snacking even when I'm not hungry (I just had dinner not too long ago ^^;;), I'm chewing gum. We'll see if it works. ¬_¬
Neko-chaaaaaan, I hope your ankle gets better soon. A non-bouncing kitty is just sad for the world. T_____T
Best of luck, Lili-chan! Or have you done it already? Do share the details. I'm such a pansy; I got all nervous when I was just asking my friend to go -- but you're braver than me about these things, so you should be/were fine, deshou? And I want to somehow see your dress ... upload pictures, please? T_T
Vinita-san, hope you feel better ... and, um. Help me resist those fics. Because I looked at those descriptions and thought "My goodness, Hermione and LUPIN? That author is *disturbed*." But the line about Snape and Neville -- it's tempting. Oh so tempting. XD;;
Have decided I rather <3 "Karenai Hana" from Full Metal Panic! (muahaha, sparkle away, neechan), and "Tomorrow" is nice and happy-bouncy. Would rather like to see you perform it in karaoke, despite your irrelevant protests of lack of range. XD;;
I am and have been inexplicably tired all week ... I lay down to take a nap this afternoon, and was out for two and a half hours. O.o I'm going to take it easy this weekend, because I've also got various icky AP review things to do ... but I have plans to go out tomorrow, and I hope I'll be conscious enough. _o_
Aaaand ... I don't want to answer these analysis questions for my own poem. >_< I think I just wasted half the period, anyway, because I was telling my friend the story of Fruits Basket, complete with eyecandy -- er, visuals. XD;; I think she'd really like to see it, but the only copies I have are raw. ^_^;;
Oh, and yesterday I heard a guy telling someone else about Yuu Yuu Hakusho ... as seen on Cartoon Network, of course. It was amusing, though, because he was talking in all seriousness about Yuusuke's egg, and the angel-or-monster hatching. I mean, I'm sure it seems like a very grim matter at that point in the story, but I was just thinking -- it's *Puu*. I mean, Puu-chan, the little flappy blue bird-thing that sits on Yuusuke's head. XD;;
Okay, okay, getting to work. -_-;;
Watched the first episode of Houshin Engi last night. Can't say much yet, but Ishida Akira's character scares the crap outta me. Something bout them unblinking eyes ... O.o It's not bad, though it's probably not a series that will make me a h0. Will likely watch the rest of the tape tonight.
Also, I have a date for Prom. :/ *unsure whether to be pleased or not* On the one hand, it's cool that I've actually gotten the guts to ask someone (I'm working my way slowly up to actually asking a guy to go on a romantic date XD;;), and he said yes, but then of course there's ... all that. x_x Mrgh. Must keep myself from becoming apathetic or even antipathetic toward the whole thing ... I stressed myself way too much over it last year, and this year I just want to have fun. (And ignore the English and Calculus AP exams awaiting me the week after. XP)
In random news, I still can't get over how much I like 1/3 no Junjou na Kanjou. Even if it was the ED for the Shimabara *haaaaaack* Arc; it's so catchy, and it makes me feel nostalgic for those summer days during which neechan and I vilified the Official Mary Sue Sayo. I wonder if I should get more Siam Shade stuff ... perhaps I should ask the jrock h0 herself. Lili-chan? Suggestions? ^_^
Someone asked me to Prom ... it wasn't even the person I was sort of afraid would do it, it was just -- it's a *mess*. I've been planning to ask someone else -- not even in a romantic way, just because he's a relatively new friend, and I haven't gone to a dance with him, and I thought it'd be fun -- so I said no. And I told him why; actually, he knew beforehand because he talked to one of my friends about what he wanted to do, and she tried to gently discourage him. But the fact that he asked me despite knowing that makes me wonder ... I mean, I know saying no is something you really shouldn't do unless you have a *really* good reason; does this not qualify? I was trying to think about how I would feel, if I asked someone and he said no because he was planning to ask someone else, and I think I would understand. Then again, as a girl I generally feel less of the everpresent threat and frustration of rejection, at least with school dances. Maybe it would have been more acceptable if I'd intended something romantic, and been planning some elaborate scheme to ask with ... but somehow, I don't find that fair. If I want to ask someone -- not if I'm waiting for someone to ask me -- is that not a viable reason to decline, no matter "how" I want to go with that person? On the one hand, I feel like a Class A Bitch, and on the other hand, I honestly can't see anything wrong with my actions. Awkward, yes, that I hadn't just bitten the bullet and asked earlier and avoided the whole mess, but ... I'm doing it tomorrow. It's the National Day of Silence, I know; I'm writing it out, which will actually be easier considering it's hard to find any chance of talking alone with him. (And wouldn't it be poetic justice if the guy I ask says no to me?)
Really, it's not a huge deal, I know, it's just ... Sigh. Ick.
Right. Day of Silence. Go to the site if you don't know about it; it'd be worthwhile to do. Somewhat difficult, yes, but I'm wearing a card to explain why I'm silent. I think laughing and other nonverbal noises are acceptable ... typing, too. I'll still be blogging tomorrow. ^_^;
Oh, and the other interesting thing today ... in Oceanography, we were talking about the Exxon-Valdez oil spill, and one of the girls raised her hand and said -- I am not making this up -- "But we don't live in Alaska. Why does this matter?" X_x I'm not the devout environmentalist I used to be when I was six, but at the very least I believe in treating things with respect. And ... I mean, even if you're looking at it in purely selfish terms, an oil spill on the Alaskan coast reaches Washington pretty quickly. Just ... oh, my head hurt from that.
Geh. Something happy, something happy ... Um, Tetsu69 of the Saiyuki movie ending theme is Tetsu of Laruku. Coolness. ^_^ And ... I love Kyou. I just do. XD
And here we are, with the promised layout. Red and black again (and white! white, too! XD;;) and rather simple, but what the hey. Really, this design is little more than an excuse to have this image of Hakkai displayed prominently on my screen every day. (I don't think neechan should have let me loose on the poor boy. -_-;;)
Oh yes! We! Have! SOUND~~!! XD XD XD Neechan pointed out that we could just hook up our nifty speakers (wasn't gonna give them up, nosiree) to the dead monitor, which still receives power, then hook them up to the tower like normal. And it works! ^o^ *hugs winamp playlist* We now have the old monitor sitting on the ground under the table, but I can live with that. Definitely. And the monitor currently hooked up, which was given to us by our uncle, seems pretty good. 16-inch, like our old one. *happiness*
And now that I can actually hear things decently, I have lots of anime to catch up on. ^_^;; Full Metal Panic, Fruits Basket, and would you believe I still haven't finished KareKano? ^_^;; There's also the tapes neechan sent home with me -- the ones I haven't seen yet being Houshin Engi 1-4, Boogiepop Phantom 1-2, and Blue Gender 1. First on the list, though, is definitely FuruBa. I got to see 6 (subbed for the first time), 7, 8, 9, and 11 Friday night-Saturday morning, and ... Hatori! Kyou! Yuki! Shigure~~~! XD I wub j00 all. *_* Hatori's story made me cry, of course ... and so did the shougatsu ep, though that might've been because it was late and I'm easily emotional when I'm tired. XD;;
So Saturday was my final day with neechan; we spent pretty much the morning at Anime Kingdom, getting some goodies for our cousins. Also snagged a Saiyuki shitajiki for ourselves, to whet our appetites for SakCon. ^_^v When the relatives arrived, we all went down to International District for lunch, and I also got an Iwao Junko CD at this little anime/Asian store ... Yes, I am officially a jpop whore. -_-;; By the time we got home, we had little more energy than required to unpack and eat dinner, but I did stay up for a while with my little cousins going through RuroKen manga. At first I was trying to read "Heart of Darkness" (still not done, ch') while occasionally explaining dialogue to them; by the end of it, though, I was pretty much narrating the story. ^_^; I was reminded of just how much I loved Kyoto Hen ... now I want the DVDs. T_^;;
AND. Sakura Con. Three weeks away. ^__________^ Anyone out there going? It'd be fun to meet up with some fellow fangirls -- though you might have to fight me at the US Anime table. XD;;
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