chicken scratch v.11 >>> aka to kuro

I have to go home tomorrow. T_T Which isn't so bad really -- I look forward to having a nice, leisurely shower in which I do not have to cringe whenever I inadvertantly brush up against the wall, and sleeping in my own bed -- but. It's just going *back* to everything that I don't want, you know? Not that I dislike my life back home or anything ^^;; -- but this has been a real vacation from it all ... minimal school stress, no overbearing parental supervision, no thinking about AP or prom or all the other things that have just been piling up lately. I wouldn't say I *dread* going back to these things; but I'm not ready to jump back home like I was last year. This time a year ago, I was comfortable here, but comfortable returning to home and its security. While I will like going home and seeing everyone ... there isn't a feeling of relief like there was before. I guess this means I'm ready (readier?) to go off to college and be "on my own" (a phrase I don't really believe in because college, at least as it will happen to me, is not so much a severance from authority as a graduated step). I look forward to ... not reinventing myself, per se, but perhaps the renewal of my circumstances, and the kind of change that can bring.

I've always been more inclined to "delete and start over" rather than sticking with what's there. It's sort of sad ... but sometimes I just want to start from scratch, when I know I can get it *right* this time.

I sound rather depressing, don't I? I don't mean to; I didn't think these were really depressing thoughts, or even all that serious ... um, it's a subconscious reflection of the weather? O.o

Happier stuff! We watched the first episode (well, after missing the first few minutes) of Chobits at the club today. XD Man, that show. I mean, I've read the first volume of the manga, so I knew what to expect, but yes, Meimi-san is right, CLAMP = fanservice. At least we know they're equal opportunity fanservicers, though, eh? ^^;; Anyway, I think I heard Seki-sama, though the sound wasn't the greatest, and it's a fairly safe bet to say Inoue Kikuko plays the landlady. I want to hear the opening, though.

Going out for ice cream tonight. Wai. XD

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
02:28 p.m. on Friday, April 5, 2002

Lovely, lovely weather today. *_* I did a lot of outside stuff, walking and sitting in the Quad and stuff. And I even got one of my Government chapters read, go me! ^_^ Also immersed myself in Pablo Neruda sonnets and was inspired for a poem of my own ... it's been too long since I've written any. (Okay, maybe a couple of weeks, but still. :P) Neechan and I have a rough idea about the first part of Ashes 5, mostly discussed while we were getting our power walk on before dinner. Go us! Feeling contented and productive in general. Don't want this week to end. ^_^

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
10:03 p.m. on Wednesday, April 3, 2002

I could be listening to the RuroKen Best Themes Collection ... but I'm not, because these computers have their sound turned off. T_T And I suppose I *could* go back to the room and use the CD player there, but that means giving up the Ethernet. Which is a big no-no. XO

Um, yes. I don't think you all want to hear about my day; it was rather boring, actually -- cumbersome forms, failed forgeries and the like. ^_^; Something interesting, however, was that I followed neechan to her first Japanese lecture of the quarter. I liked it lots. The subject was the family and the various terms used to describe relations -- and to demonstrate, the teacher used the example of the Simpsons, and Bart talking to Chief Wiggum about his family. XD;; Also fun was the way he taught kanji, describing what the parts meant and where the pictographs came from. For "onna," he said that it was written using the hiragana "ku," then the katakana "no," and lastly the kanji "ichi." Ku-no-ichi. Kunoichi! I thought that was cool. ^_^ After class, we went to take pictures by the sakura trees ... they're quite pretty right now. I can't wait until they start raining (sounds rather morbid, doesn't it, that I want to see the flowers dying? ^_^;;).

(Argh ... Nothing against the Beatles, but I'd much rather listen to Siam Shade, yes? ^_^;;)

Ooh! And now I've seen through all of Saiyuuki that neechan has (except for 1-5). And I've come to the conclusion that you can tell how much a "shounen" series is geared toward girls by the level of psychological hangups the main characters have. I realize angst and trauma are not easy things to get over, but these poor boys exude it from their pores ... as opposed to, say, RuroKen, in which the twisted minds of the characters are more or less worked out within the span of the series. Just imagine the fanfic that can be spawned by something both angsty and well done like Saiyuuki (because, let's face it, Weiß left something to be desired. ^_^;; There *are* good fanfics out there, but that's not necessarily from the merit of the original series.) ... Anyway, I plan to hunt them down. If I can't see the rest of the series, I'm going to get good fanfic, dangit. >o< (And I wonder where all the Gojyou/Hakkai stories are. T_T I want.)

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
06:54 p.m. on Tuesday, April 2, 2002

For lack of any impetus to do anything productive, I made a new layout. ^_^;; Neechan was making one too and, well ... presented with the use of a fast computer, a freaking huge monitor, and Photoshop 6.0, I couldn't resist. _o_;; Besides, it's Hakkai. I mean ... you can't say no to that. It's just a given. XD;; (I was also briefly toying with a Kougaiji image, but it went nowhere. Sheer sexiness can only take you so far.) It's red and black again, but oh well. To be honest, I was completely lacking in any form of inspiration, and probably shouldn't have forced a design out like that ... This wouldn't have happened if he wasn't so damn pretty. XO Anyway, neechan's is an Ayu layout, and looks much nicer. But, well, I say again: it's Hakkai. *_*

I'm not going to put it up until later, probably when I get home; I want to keep Mireille up a little longer. It feels like I've been going through layouts really quickly lately, even though I probably haven't. Actually, I've been thinking about making a layout archive, if only for my own personal use, so I can see all the designs I've made for this thing in the year or so I've had it. (And hopefully track some improvement deshou? XP) Hm ... I'm beginning to sound like one of those bloggers who only talks about layouts. >_< Quick! Come up with something different!

... I'm hungry. XD;; I think it's time for me to go.

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
06:17 p.m. on Monday, April 1, 2002

I don't know if using this computer is nostalgic or just sad. ^_^;; Because it's a nice computer, certainly, and we did use it for a couple of years after we moved here, but ... the processor is so freaking SLOW. XO And I can't really complain about the connection, because, coming from a person who regularly uses a 56K modem, 31.2 kbps isn't really worth complaining about. _o_;; I do, however, enjoy going through the songs we downloaded a long time ago, which I was too lazy to get myself on the new computer. *warbles* "WHAT'S UP zero kara hajime you~~" XD

Have heard all the way through my Onitsuka Chihiro album, and I *like* it. It's very lyrical, mellow stuff (despite the hot pink CD o_o). "Memai" is very sweet, and perhaps would be even more so could I understand more of the lyrics. ^_^;

Today I actually woke up at a decent time, for being on vacation; but then again, I went to bed relatively early because neechan had class. Then, when I took a shower, I couldn't figure out the shower head and had to take an alternating-between-lukewarm-and-bitingly-cold shower. *shikushiku* However, it was made up for when we went out (first to get a housing application for me and books for neechan, but bah) to Anime Kingdom and I could sparkle over the Saiyuuki dollies! And Furuba plushies! If I had money to blow, I would have blown it. But, well, that's what Sakura Con's for. XD

Hrm. Thought I had more to say, but I guess not. Have not done *anything* productive yet, besides a sentence and a half in Ashes 4. Nya. XP

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
02:21 p.m. on Monday, April 1, 2002

Reporting from an Internet cafe at the UW, with neechan blogging right next to me. We're such nerds. XD;; So yes, here we are ... unable to go anywhere else because everything is closed and Kino's is too far away for a quick trip. Curses.

In happy sparkly news, I got Onitsuka Chihiro's "Insomnia." ^o^ It's the "official" Taiwan version, or so the label says ... in any case, I hope it's more legal than SMs. ^_^;; Haven't been able to listen to it all the way through yet, but I know a couple of the songs already and like them lots. (No "Infection," though, cause that's on her new album. T_T) Also saw Kokia's "Trip Trip" but refrained. I like her, and I like "Ningentte Sonna Mono Ne," but not enough to blow forty bucks on the first day of my trip. ^_^;;

Clara-chan, glad to see you're back. Good luck on the Blogger issues. ^_^;

And, seeing as I'm ignoring anything and everything of academic relation until at least tomorrow, my most pressing current problem is: where to eat dinner tonight?

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
05:31 p.m. on Sunday, March 31, 2002

So ... our monitor spontaneously died (first emitting a long, loud buzzing noise to herald its demise), so I'm looking at this through our ten year-old 12(?) inch. Craptacular. >_<

Otherwise, life is good. Spring Break is here, and I'm going up to Seattle tomorrow to stay with neechan for a week. Happiness. XD So ... yeah. I'll be able to blog from there (and have SOUND, because this monitor is stupid and only has crappy speakers that require a buttload of batteries XP), but not answer email. Unless you write to neechan, in which case I will leech her mail account and reply. XD;;

So, lately I've been watching slashy anime. XD Last night was the first (yes, first) time I ever saw Fake. That is one fun little show, let me say. I do believe Dee is the only one of Seki's characters who lead with the tongue when he kisses someone. o_o At the very least, he's the only seme he's ever played. XD;; Have also seen through episode 17 of Saiyuuki ... Hakkai, I wub you. You're so angsty. Just like my own personal slashy version of Chichiri. T_^

Today we went out to celebrate my friend's eighteenth birthday ... Our original plan was to go to the zoo (yes, she's regressing XD;;), but turns out an Easter Egg hunt was planned there, and the prospect of dozens of tiny kiddies crawling around looking for eggs wasn't too appealing. ^_^;; We ended up going shopping, and of course we had to go to Powell's. I bought a copy of Neruda's "Cien Sonetas de Amor" (used, go me!) and "Heart of Darkness" because my English teacher wants us to read a book off the AP Lit/Lang Exam list and that's the only one I'd have time for. Anyway, as we were browsing the manga section (used stuff, mostly old school), we found *doujinshi*. Doujinshi! At Powell's! Who'd'a thunk? XD Of course, it was Gundam Wing and mostly illustrated novels (even the purty 3x1 Mizuki Ken books T_T), but still -- I was amused and pleased. ^_^

Neko-chan, sorry I haven't been online. If maybe Monday afternoon you get on IM, I'll try to be there, too, to answer your questions. ^_^;

Oh, and we're about two scenes away from the end of Ashes 4 ... but it won't be posted until after I get back. However, the fact that it's done at all is a good sign, ne? ^_^;;

I'll see you all later from Seattle~~

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
10:33 p.m. on Saturday, March 30, 2002

Uwaa ... hisashiburi. o.o Lots of stuff has happened lately. First, on Friday, I went to the school play, Thorton Wilder's "The Skin of Our Teeth," which I liked a *lot* better than "Our Town." Both plays deal heavily with themes about human troubles and valuing life, but I just liked the ideas presented in this one better. And it was funny to see some of my friends in roles that fit them *so* *well*. XD Anyway, after a quick trip to Baskin Robbins (Jamoca Almond Fudge ... mmm ...), a few of us went to a friend's house to watch Seisou Hen ep. 2 subtitled. XO Oh the pretty badness. I mean, I have no issues with RuroKen suddenly being transformed into a Kaoru-centric shoujo fantasy, so long as I'm aware of the fact and can properly prepare to focus on the prettiness rather than the KenKao fangirlishness; but when I get subtitles with the thing, I am inescapably aware of how screamingly out of character it all is. Well, in my mind, anyway. And only in my mind do I really presume to know what Watsuki was thinking. XD;;

Anyhoo, onto Saturday. That was a friend's birthday party, which was largely spent playing DDR and a mix of fighting games. Sunday was spent working on homework and watching the Academy Awards, which were fun if not especially remarkable. The dresses -- which *are* my primary source of entertainment XD -- were mostly blah instead of great or awful. I did love Halle Berry's, though -- and I was so happy when she won. I was planning a mini-rant about one of the radio stations I listen to (which is quite mainstream, really, despite their tendency to be frighteningly close-minded), because of what they were saying about her ... but the opinion doesn't seem to be widely embraced, so I'll save it. If I hear something later, though, I'll be sure to whip out both said rant and a swift kick to the bootay. XP

Ah, yes, and I'm done -- for now -- with my Senior Project. I made up my little portfolio with my forms (yes, that's right, I don't have to present ANY EVIDENCE of having completed the work, other than a signed form. Hell yeah, this is a meaningless "requirement for graduation.") and got neko-chan to come to my rescue concerning my sudden lack of mentorage. Sankyuu, luffneko. :3

The good news is, the reduction of stress has allowed me to get back to Ashes as the fun project it is, rather than an obligation. We're almost done with chapter 4, finally. XD;;

Also, neechan "forced" (^_~) me to watch Saiyuuki yesterday. XD Eps. 6-9, since the first five had been checked out from the club -- but no matter! I like it lots. Mochiron yo. :3 As neechan predicted, I do rather like Hakkai -- he's so endearingly genki -- but Gojou is ... well, freaking hot. XD;; And Kougaiji? WAY too sexy to *really* be a bad guy. XD XD XD

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
05:12 p.m. on Wednesday, March 27, 2002

I'll blog more later -- got lots of stuff to catch up on -- but first, this. It's a bit old, but I just saw it recently, and I like it. XD "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?"

Happy belated birthday, Ruby-chan! ^o^

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
06:02 p.m. on Tuesday, March 26, 2002

From The Euphemism Generator:

"Hey! Who's been wielding the weasel?!"

Watch in amused amazement (or amazed amusement) as Misao goes into Irate Itachi Musume Mode and Aoshi unsheathes his kodachi menacingly in the background and P-chan realizes she reads TOO MUCH DAMN FANFIC. XD;; And is teetering on the brink after another bout with Calculus. XO

I'd say now is a good time to start "salting the incandescent tadpole." What about you? XD;;

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
05:19 p.m. on Friday, March 22, 2002

Uhyaa. I would have been done with studying for my Government test (Nigeria IDs, w00t -_-;;) earlier, but neechan distracted me with raw Fruits Basket. I wub Kyou. And Shigure. <3<3<3

Lili-chan has a new manga translation site. ^o^ No series I read ... yet ... but go visit anyway. ^_^

Neko-chan, I'm glad you like it. XD

Cartooning project in Drawing is going well. I've gotten my concept layout done (er ... do squiggly panels in the margin of my Calculus assignment count? XD;;), as well as most of my dialogue -- about six lines' worth. It's going to be two pages, after all, but my teacher said they could be done in black and white, which is immensely relieving. Color would help me differentiate between characters more easily, but monochrome is the format of choice in manga, of course. Which is what I'm aiming for; though I have more distinct paneling than manga usually does. Actually, it's really shoujo that does that, and this doesn't necessarily have to be shoujo, since my plot (such as it is) is a little more on the action-drama side ... so it'll be like a shounen-styled manga with shoujo-style bishounen. :D

Okay. Sleep. Well, fanfic, then sleep. XD

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
09:58 p.m. on Thursday, March 21, 2002

So, um, I just watched the second episode of Seisou Hen. o_o I don't really have much to say, but ... hell, just highlight: It was ... better than it could have been. ^_^; I wanted to like this, so much -- and I did love it, in terms of animation and music and acting -- but there was *so* much wrong with the story. >_< We've already gone over the "Rurouni Kenshin as Kaoru Saw It" aspect of it; it might have been better if I hadn't read the manga. Tsuioku Hen didn't go nearly as far as Seisou in terms of retcons ... but that's not what really bothered me. The story was Kaoru-centric, that's fine. It was Kenshin's portrayal -- he *found* his answer, he came to terms with the damage he did to Tomoe and her family. So why, WHY was he so damn weepy? He's stronger than that -- it's true that, without Kaoru's "death" and his friends (funny how they never showed up ¬_¬), his kotae may simply not have been as powerful -- but still. That flies in the face of Watsuki's own conclusion ... not "Haru ni Sakura," exactly, just where Kenshin himself is, as a character, at the end of the series.

And, if I were feeling mean, I could talk about the unhealthy clinging to the past that seemed to affect every character ... not to mention Kenji's overwhelming Oedipal complex. O_o BUT, like I said, there were definitely good points. Taken for what it is, it's a very well done OAV. Psychological quibbles aside, I liked the final scene between Kenshin and Kaoru. (I wonder how the "Yatto ... kireta" line will be subtitled; "kireru" could be translated as "to die," but it's much more ... elegant? than "shinu.") And, hmm, shall I be shallow and say that in this case ... it *is* all about the gay? XD;;

Oh, and this is why it's bad for me to keep up with world events and politics: I end up developing personal animosity toward people I don't know, and get much too much amusement out of things like these. Curse you, Mugabe. XP

Oh, and neechan bought me a Alice 19th shitajiki! *sparkles* It's so pretty~~ <3<3<3

/// neji no togireta yume wa doko ni mukatte yuku? ///
09:38 p.m. on Wednesday, March 20, 2002